A dream filled with whining mosquitoes gave way to the equally unwanted buzz of the alarm clock as Aurora, still more than half asleep, smacked the off button. Something plastic clattered to the cold hardwood floor in the dark—she’d bumped Darrell’s photo off the dresser again. She switched on a light, blinking as her eyes adjusted. Darrell smiled up at her from a cheap frame in a dusty corner, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners and sandy-blond hair falling to his shoulders.

She would have plenty of time for dusting after work, alone in the apartment as usual. The photo was about all she saw of Darrell most days, since he’d taken a truck-driving course last year—not long after their marriage—and gotten a job as a long-haul trucker. He was always talking about how much he loved the job: driving the big rigs, seeing the country, being part of life’s adventures rather than just watching life go by.

Aurora could understand that feeling. After all, they had met while working at a McDonald’s just off the interstate. Last month, she had been promoted to first shift manager. The job was mostly okay, but some days she felt like it would be great to jump in a truck and never look back. Darrell had ambitious plans, saving up to buy his own truck—he had in mind that Aurora would learn to drive it and they’d be an owner-operator team.

But for now, all she drove was a beat-up old Chevy sedan, which at present was sitting in the parking lot covered with about three inches of snow—as she discovered when she looked out the bedroom window. The forecast hadn’t predicted snow overnight, and Aurora hadn’t thought to set her alarm clock earlier. Now she’d have to hurry to work, especially since she was responsible for unlocking the restaurant to let in the morning crew.

She dressed quickly and went outside, putting on thick gloves to keep her hands warm while she brushed snow off the car. A bitterly cold wind blew from the north, and the predawn sky was still pitch black. A city truck had just gone by, plowing up the snow into big dirty heaps. Aurora drove the few blocks to the highway and got on the ramp. There wasn’t much traffic yet this morning. She passed a semi, noting a Bible verse on its trailer. 1 Corinthians 16:14, it proclaimed: Let All Your Work Be Done with Love.

Well, that certainly hadn’t been the first thought in her mind, after waking up in the dark on a morning like this. And there was a slowpoke ahead in the exit lane, crawling down the ramp she needed to take. Some people had no idea how to drive in the snow. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as the usual list of complaints ran through her head: dreary, dull, dismal, dark, depressing winter. The sun wouldn’t rise for a long time yet. It was no wonder ancient people had made up myths about it, telling stories around the fire on the long, dark nights.

In the story from which she got her name, a chariot pulled the sun across the sky. Every morning as dawn approached, the celestial gates had to be opened to allow the chariot to pass. That was the goddess Aurora’s task. The myths had seemed silly, learning them in school; but at least they had enough simple, realistic details that it wasn’t hard to imagine being in the stories. Even goddesses had to wake up before dawn and trudge off to work.

She pictured her mythical namesake on a chilly Mediterranean morning, wrapped tightly in a wool cloak as she made her way along a windy mountain trail. From somewhere far below came the sounds of the sea. The moon had just set, and she had only the stars to light her path. She took a deep breath that tasted of pine and of the snow on the high peaks.

In the east, a pale glow brightened—the sun! Excitement rose within her as well, and she started running, the path coming clearer at each step. Her sandals slapped against the stony earth, in harmony with the hoofbeats echoing through the sky as the chariot approached. There they were before her, the golden celestial gates, shining in perfect glory! She lifted the bar, letting the gates swing wide as the chariot thundered through, feeling the thrill of its passage as it rumbled by…

The only rumbling as Aurora parked the Chevy outside the McDonald’s came from a semi on the interstate carrying cold rolled steel. The imagined hoofbeats still echoed in her mind, all the same, and the unexpected joy lingered. It wouldn’t be long—one of these days, she and Darrell would have their own truck, driving out of the east like the chariot of the sun. For now, though, her place in the world could be a meaningful one, right here where she was. Opening the gates.

Aurora found herself smiling as she unlocked the door of the restaurant, doing her work with love.

My aunt gave me a nice stylish leather briefcase when I was a student 30 years ago. I thought it was a lovely gift, and I imagined myself carrying it into high-powered business meetings, courtrooms, etc., full of very important documents. I associated it with ambition and success.
 

Old brown leather briefcase 

Because it brought good memories to mind, I made the mistake of letting it sit around and turn into clutter. That style hasn’t been in fashion for a very long time, the leather is creased, the edges are frayed, and it just looks like (and totally is) junk! As for ambition, all the thoughts I once associated with the briefcase are outdated too. Like most people nowadays, I don’t have a job that involves carrying important papers. Documents get attached to emails, meetings take place by way of teleconferencing software, and so forth. I’ll probably buy a new modern briefcase at some point, when I see one that I like really well, but there’s certainly no hurry!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

When I consider what to write for a Nurturing Thursday post, I start by reflecting on what I’ve learned over the past week about how to nurture myself better. Usually, something comes to mind from my recent experiences, or perhaps I notice changes that have taken place over a longer period. Although I still wasn’t sure what to write for this post when I considered it last night, I realized that I was taking better care of myself just by thinking about it! Simply making time to reflect on self-nurturing is a valuable practice in itself, just as going to the library or downloading e-books regularly are ways to create opportunities for learning. Even if no significant insights happen on a particular day, the chances of learning something useful are much improved.
 

Library shelves as seen from above the stacks.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

I would also put reading blogs regularly in the category of valuable learning opportunities that promote self-nurturing, provided they have a consistently positive tone and contribute to nourishing the souls of the readers. That’s why I set aside time every day to read positive blogs! And I am grateful to have found the Nurturing Thursday community because the weekly reminder to focus on self-nurturing has been so worthwhile. I hope everyone else involved is enjoying it as much as I am!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

Setting aside time for reflection, with the aim of discovering one’s authentic self, is common advice in inspirational books and articles. The modern world’s distractions and responsibilities often lead to the feeling that somewhere along the way, we have gotten much too busy and lost a clear sense of who we really are. Meditation, long walks in the forest, and spiritual retreats are seen as ways of reconnecting.
 

Path in autumn forest with fallen leaves.

(photo credit: publicdomainpictures.net)
 

When I started clearing clutter out of my house earlier this year, I wasn’t thinking about it in terms of improving my sense of self; I just wanted to tidy things up and feel more comfortable at home. I’m starting to feel that it’s all part of the same process, though. Letting go of physical clutter brings up thoughts and emotions having to do with each item’s source and what function it once served in my life. This in turn causes me to reflect on where I am now and what has changed since then. So I’m not just taking old stuff to the thrift store, but also clearing out my old emotions and routine behaviors associated with the stuff. I am making space for creative energy, positive thought patterns, and feeling more present in the here and now!

The subconscious mind is full of associations relating to the stuff in our environment. Even when something gets to be so much a part of everyday life that it doesn’t get noticed consciously, it still triggers emotions and habitual responses just by being there. So I would say that discovering one’s authentic self is not just about remembering the past; it’s also about clearing away whatever doesn’t feel right in the present.

Last week I wrote about giving up an old coat I’d had since the 1980s. This week I decided that I really didn’t need the accessories I had worn with it either—a matched hat, scarf, and gloves in bright, cheerful colors. I can’t remember when I got this set, but it probably was at least two decades ago.
 

Red hat, scarf, and gloves set, spread out on bricks. 

Winter accessories generally don’t go out of style, and they were still in good condition, so at first I didn’t see them as clutter. But my mom gave me two very pretty hat and scarf sets that she knitted not long ago, in lovely shades of purple. I’d like to buy new purple gloves to go with them. Why keep the old set when I had very little interest in wearing it? This time of year, someone else surely will enjoy finding it at the thrift store, and letting it go frees up space on my closet shelf.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

I planted a row of willows in my backyard in 2006, thinking they’d be well suited to an area that was lower than the surrounding terrain and often got soggy in the spring. They were so tiny that I had to put cages around them so they wouldn’t get nibbled to death by rabbits. And although they did indeed thrive on all the rain and snowmelt in the spring, they needed plenty of watering through the summer. It took a while, but now they have grown into a lovely, tall, solid hedge.
 

Row of willow bushes in my backyard. 

Also in 2006, an educational charity of which I am a board member was incorporated—the Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN), headquartered in Washington DC, which teaches leadership and self-advocacy skills. Like the willows, it started out tiny, with just a few volunteers. But over the years it has grown into a stable corporation with a solid track record of grants and projects, and will be celebrating its eighth anniversary next month. (Here’s a link to the Gala Registration Page for anyone who will be in the DC area on November 12th and would like to support ASAN’s work by attending!)

It’s not quite three years since I started my blog, but I have the same feelings of positive growth and solidity with regard to my writing. At first I didn’t post as often, got fewer comments, and wasn’t as organized with the blog as I wanted to be. This year it’s all flowing more easily, I feel more connected to the blogging community, more content has built up in my archives, and I’m having more fun overall! It’s really amazing how much power there can be in the small things we do over time.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I had in mind to write a post for today about the concept of an authentic self, and put together a few paragraphs on that topic yesterday. But then I got busy with other things, never got back to it, and put my partial draft in a folder with other half-finished stuff. That wouldn’t have been a problem except that I started worrying about whether I’d have time to finish the post today, and how it would mess up my planned schedule for the blog if I didn’t, and I had some work to catch up on, so maybe I wouldn’t be able to get anything written for Thursday either…

And then I thought, whoa! What’s going on with all these pointless worries! First of all, a personal blog is supposed to be fun, rather than just another chore to get done. If I didn’t enjoy it, there wouldn’t be much reason to keep writing it, would there? So there’s no sense in taking the fun out of it with self-imposed production schedules; my job gives me enough of those already! And second, to the extent that I write for insight and sharing rather than just for fun, I can accomplish those goals much more effectively when I set aside the time I need for meaningful reflection. Hurrying through a task never gets the best results, even when it’s just a blog post!

So, I took a few minutes just now to refresh my mind by browsing through photos of peaceful nature scenes to put myself in a reflective mood. Here’s one that I enjoyed:
 

Photo of trees reflecting on water at sunset.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

That was definitely more fun than worrying about whether I’d have time to finish writing yesterday’s draft. Hope you enjoy it too!

I have a green coat that became a favorite when I got it—26 or 27 years ago. Even after it went out of style and I bought other coats, I still wore it sometimes because it was comfy and warm. Last winter my husband bought me a new coat made of modern synthetic fabric that keeps me just as toasty, even though it’s not as thick or heavy. That was very welcome in last winter’s long string of freezing cold days!  So I have no good reason to keep the old coat. It might once have been useful, but it is just taking up space in the closet now, and there’s no getting around the fact that I’ve got to give it up.
 

Old green coat hanging on a doorknob. 

In honor of the occasion, I’ve added a classic old-school music video to this post. Yes, I know that getting down and dancing was what Marvin Gaye meant by “Got to Give It Up,” rather than getting rid of stuff, but I think the song fits anyway! After all, having a comfortable, clutter-free home can go a long way toward feeling in the mood to dance and celebrate! So let’s all give it up for conquering clutter, yay!
 

 

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

As another year approaches, many of us choose a word or symbol to represent an intention for the new year. While it may still be a bit early for that as we’re only halfway through October, I happened to notice a figurine while browsing on Amazon last week that felt just right for how I’d like next year to go! So I went ahead and bought it, found a place for it in a sunny room where I’ll see it regularly, and took this photo.
 

Figurine of fairy holding small white dragon. 

The title is Release Dreams Fairy Holding Dragon (I’ve made that into a link to the Amazon page for anyone who might be interested).  It gives me a lovely visual reminder of what I want to do in the upcoming year—release my dreams to fly free and grow into something beautiful! And I do believe that seeing it every day will keep my thoughts focused on bringing more positive, creative energy into my life.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

We’re often told that we must be willing to go beyond our comfort zones if we want to accomplish anything significant and that otherwise, we’re doomed to stagnate. But not everyone agrees with that view. I recently came across a blog post entitled Comfort Zone Malarkey, in which the author pointed out that when we are more comfortable, we are also more productive. Why shouldn’t we want to arrange our lives in comfortable patterns that reduce our stress and make us more productive in our everyday tasks?

I’d say that as with many things, it is chiefly a matter of self-awareness and finding the right balance. Some of us naturally have wide comfort zones and are always eager to try new activities. Others get anxious about small changes in routine. Because the modern world is so full of change and disruption, those who get anxious more easily are often advised to work on expanding their comfort zones.

When a disruptive situation can’t reasonably be avoided, getting used to it is probably good advice. For instance, advances in technology may seem intimidating, but we’re much better off to get comfortable with new products as they come into use, rather than keeping obsolete stuff. Considering how quickly things are changing in our society, though, I don’t see a need to randomly jump into all sorts of activities with the aim of expanding our comfort zones. Just keeping up with today’s new technologies and cultural changes ought to give us plenty of practice in that!

As I see it, the main reason why people get stuck in unproductive routines is not that they haven’t tried to expand their comfort zones, but that routines can get outdated quickly without it being noticeable. We’ve all had to adjust our comfort zones hugely in recent years, just to deal with the massive changes taking place all around us. Even when a change is good, we still need some amount of time and mental energy to get used to it. And when we get stressed trying to keep up with everything that’s going on, we fall back on familiar routines to calm ourselves.

Having comfortable routines is not a problem in itself. We all need them! But if we don’t take enough time to reflect on whether our routines suit our current circumstances, we can end up mindlessly stuck in habits that don’t work well at all. Especially as we get older, it’s all too easy to keep on doing something a certain way because that’s how we have done it for the past 30 years, whether or not it makes sense anymore. That lack of reflection is what causes people to stagnate, much more than being afraid to leave a comfort zone. After all, if it hasn’t even crossed our minds that doing something different might be possible, then we never reach the point of considering whether we might want to do it—and our comfort zone slowly shrinks.

When that happens, it’s not because we lack the intelligence or imagination to notice that our circumstances have changed. Rather, it’s because the complexity of the modern world forces us to adjust our routines much more than our ancestors ever had to do. Keeping up with everything that has changed around us is a lot of work—it’s no wonder some things get overlooked! So, when dealing with people whose routines seem overly rigid, kindness and understanding are needed. After all, we may have our own stagnant habits that we haven’t noticed yet!