Shortly after my daughter’s marriage in 2018, I developed a weird “phantom ring” issue where I sometimes felt that the ring finger of my right hand either had a ring on it, when it didn’t really have one, or was missing a ring that should have been there. I normally wear three left-hand rings—wedding and engagement, with a 20-year anniversary ring in the middle.

Photo of wedding, anniversary, and engagement rings.

Where the phantom ring might have come from was totally baffling. There was never a time when I regularly wore a ring on the right-hand ring finger. I have one for it, with a small rose-quartz stone, which my husband bought for me long ago; but I’ve only worn that ring occasionally, and whether I wore it more or less often didn’t seem to make any difference with the phantom ring issue.

This year, it occurred to me that if I had a 40-year anniversary ring, it probably would go on my right hand because four rings would be a bit much for my left hand. I visualized the new ring as having the same design as the 20-year ring, with a row of small stones, but they would be rubies because that is the traditional gemstone for the 40th anniversary.

After that, I never felt that my right hand was missing a ring. I presume that’s because the phantom ring has now been “found,” in that it belongs to my future self, who is keeping it safe. Perhaps the message from my subconscious mind is that I need to take care that my marriage doesn’t get misplaced!

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