My husband was busy with his work today, and he ate dinner at his desk in the home office. I sat in the dining room across from his empty chair. It felt quiet and still, except when his voice carried from the other room while he was talking to a coworker.

After we finished our separate meals, I gathered up all the dishes and put them in the dishwasher, setting it to start on a delay so that it wouldn’t make any noise until late at night. Then I went upstairs to sit alone, composing this post. I didn’t mind having a little time for solitude; it calmed my mind and felt good for reflection and creative thought.

Word-art that says, "A person who enjoys solitude always gives others their space. No matter what kind of a relationship it is, healthy space nourishes the connection. But when someone is uncomfortable with solitude, they become co-dependent. Such people become so dependent on others that they don't let them breathe. Solitude is the foundation of self-love; a person who enjoys their own company knows themselves on a soul level. When someone truly loves themselves they give others space not out of obligation, but out of love. Giving others space is like setting them free, and the more you let go the deeper the connection gets. The ego thinks love is possession, but it's actually giving the other the freedom to be themselves." -Pawan Nair

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

December 11, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Last night I went to bed wondering what I might do to be happier. It’s not that I was unhappy about anything in particular, but staying cheerful when winter’s short, dark days arrive is not always easy.

My subconscious mind obligingly answered the question by putting the disco song “You Should Be Dancing,” from the Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, in my head when I woke up.



When I went to do a rowing exercise on the Hydrow machine in the early afternoon, I set it to play disco and funk songs during my 10K row, which took about 48 minutes. “You Should Be Dancing” wasn’t one of the songs, but it definitely did put me in a more cheerful mood!

I recently slipped on acorns while walking on a hilly area under some tall oaks. That was, of course, a natural consequence of taking that particular path, but I still felt annoyed while struggling to get back my balance. After a while, I thought about it from the perspective of being fortunate to spend time among Mother Earth’s small wonders, and that put me in a better frame of mind.

Word-art that says, "The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Now that people are living longer, “would you want to live to 100?” is a question more often asked. Some answer it by saying, “yes, but only if I am healthy and don’t run out of money.”

Photo of a piggy bank labeled "Retirement Fund."

Many retirees are so terrified of ending up impoverished and in poor health that they never spend more than a tiny fraction of their retirement savings. Health issues in old age can be costly, that’s true enough; it makes sense to have some funds set aside for future medical bills, assistive technology, and so forth. But in the scenario described above—living to age 100 while staying healthy—why would using up one’s savings be seen as a fate worse than death?

Presumably, many people feel that going back to work in old age would be too hard, so any further years of life after running out of money would be a miserable penny-pinching existence. But if we’re talking about living to 100—which, for most of us, is pretty far in the future—then why make such a negative assumption? The current labor shortage is not likely to go away by then, given today’s historically low birthrates, and I expect future employers will be happy to hire anyone they can get. Age discrimination won’t be much of an issue when companies desperately need workers. Medical advances will make us healthier.

Granted, after having been in retirement for three decades or so, our hypothetical centenarian likely won’t have the skills needed to do the same work as before. That prospect might also seem very unappealing to a person who has gotten used to a completely different way of life. In a future economy where workers are scarce and in great demand, however, we may find that it’s easy to start another career designed around whatever new interests we may develop. Maybe we’ll all have bespoke jobs, tailored to our every desire by happily obliging employers. Such jobs would be available to anyone, including older people who run out of savings in retirement.

This may seem a wild flight of fancy by comparison to today’s workplace, which is not far removed from a decade of brutal cost-cutting. Some managers still can’t wrap their minds around the prospect of a long-term labor shortage, and age discrimination certainly hasn’t gone away. Even so, it’s fair to say that any attempt to imagine the distant future is just guesswork—so why live in fear of one possibility when so many other things might happen instead?

That said, I do save regularly in my workplace retirement plan because it’s always good to have savings, whatever the future may hold. In the interest of present-day serenity, though, I don’t worry about how much of my savings might have been spent decades from now. I prefer to hold space in my imagination for a future world with plenty of choices, rather than problems.

By early afternoon, I was feeling somewhat distracted after a few minor annoyances, such as my headphones weirding out when I joined a Zoom meeting. After it was over, I went to get gas and groceries. The sun had come out, warming the air, and I felt comfortable standing at the gas pump, unlike the wintery weather of a few days ago. Even though I wasn’t doing anything but ordinary errands, going outside put me in a more cheerful mood.

Word-art that says, "Are you overwhelmed? Go outside. Too much to do? Go outside. Overly distracted? Go outside. Feeling anxious? Go outside. Need some restoration? Go outside."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

November 28, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Perhaps because I’ve been reading historical novels, I dreamed that I was a young medieval princess. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a good thing to be. Some rebel faction had killed my father and taken over the country, and they wanted to dispose of my mother and grandmother—literally, as in “off with their heads.”

All of us were walking along a path toward the execution grounds, with a jeering crowd on both sides gleefully anticipating the spectacle. The rebels weren’t quite vicious enough to murder girls, so they were going to lock me in a dungeon afterward, along with my baby sister. My mother was holding the baby, who blinked sleepily at me when I offered to carry her.

Princess image in black and white.

“Don’t take her from me yet,” my mother said, in a voice that allowed no argument.

I kept moving, one foot in front of the other, telling myself this didn’t have to be real. If only I had enough faith, then it would all go away. Quietly, I began saying a prayer as I walked.

“Dear God, please let me be dreaming. Let this be a nightmare. Let me wake up.”

Surely, God was more than powerful enough to change the world around me, making my life completely different. I pictured the hostile crowd melting away, taking another shape—flattening out, turning into the covers on my bed. They couldn’t hurt anyone because they never existed.

Waking, I found myself in a completely different life, just as the prayer had asked. It took me a moment to sort out which version of me was the real one!

I got up early this morning before the sun had come up, getting ready to head out to the Turkey Trot with my husband and our grown children. We’ve done this road race together for the past 20 years, so it can fairly be called a tradition, although we haven’t always stayed together on the course. Today, our daughter brought two friends, all walking together while we ran on ahead. They came over to our house afterward and spent some time playing board games, just like when they were kids.

Wishing fun times with friends and family to all, and many blessings!

Word-art with a turkey and autumn leaves that says, "Thanksgiving Greetings."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

November 20, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags:

I woke up this morning with a dream in my head that wasn’t entirely clear, but its theme definitely was mindless repetition. I had been banging my hands against something hard—maybe a brick or stone wall, I can’t quite remember—and every time, I said “Ow,” and then did it again, like an automaton.

Photo of a wall made of bricks and stones.

(Photo credit: Caroline Léna Becker)

Evidently, my subconscious wants me to quit doing something thoughtless and futile that is hurting me. Perhaps it’s related to another dream I had recently, in which I had to back up when there wasn’t enough space to walk through construction vehicles. I still haven’t figured out where in my life I might need to change direction, but my dream-self seems to be prodding me to reflect on it more.

Today was a gloriously warm and sunny autumn day, so perfect that I took the afternoon off from work. It probably was the last one of the year; rain will be moving in tomorrow, with falling temperatures.

That’s all right, though, because winter afternoons in a cozy house are just right for a good book and a cup of tea—or maybe, on a lucky day, a great book.

Word-art that says, "A good book makes you want to live in the story. A great book gives you no choice."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Once again, I’m scheduling my Thursday post in advance because of travel plans for another long weekend. I’m heading south this time, visiting my mom, who lives in Spartanburg, S.C., and then rowing in the Head of the South regatta in Augusta to finish out the fall season.

Wishing everyone fun trips and adventures, too!

Word-art showing a person driving toward a sign pointing to "Adventures."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”