When I set up the follow box in my sidebar, I decided not to display the number of followers because I didn’t want to feel that I was competing with other bloggers for popularity. I do glance at that statistic occasionally, though, while doing administrative tasks on the blog. A few days ago, I noticed that I was down one follower since the last time I looked, and my first reaction was to feel put out—not necessarily with a nice warm coat like my daughter’s puppy got for Christmas, either!
I found myself worrying that people didn’t like my blog, that I might carelessly have offended a reader without knowing it, et cetera. Of course, when I stopped to think about it, I realized that I was being very silly! Lots of people go through their blog subscriptions at the start of the new year and remove blogs they haven’t visited recently, without making any judgments as to merit. In fact, I had done that myself just the day before!
In our competitive modern society, it can be hard to remember that most of what happens is not about us. The decisions people make about how to spend their time generally are not driven by harsh value judgments; it’s simply a matter of managing a huge number of choices and a limited amount of time. So when people decide not to stay subscribed to a blog or otherwise not to stay in contact, they probably haven’t even thought much about it, but are just trying to simplify a busy life. It’s not personal.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.
I like your heart and enjoy your posts! Happy New Year 🙂
Thanks Carolyn, I enjoy your posts too! 🙂
Meg, I stopped having my blog publicize the number of followers I have for the same reason. I found that it made me feel anxious…why weren’t more people following me? Am I not welcoming enough? Should I not be blogging? I decided that I didn’t need those feelings of ‘not good enough’. I agree with you, it’s important to remember that it wasn’t personal! xo
Yes, we certainly don’t need that anxiety — not everything in life has to be a competition!
Oh, I totally can relate to this sharing!! I removed mine for the same reason!!
Good to know others feel the same way about it!
Yes, that was a little silly 🙂 I took of the follower widget exactly for the same reason, I don’t want to know (to get sad or carried away), nor display (don’t want to compete) the number of followers. I glance at the number when I look at search terms etc. but I don’t remember it from one time to another. It not personal, I know, but it’s also not important. Here’s to blogging just because it’s fun!
I agree Tiny, fun is what it’s all about! 🙂
Hi Meg, nice post as usual, I like the message, “it’s not us it’s them!” We are so busy, we need to select what we want to spend time with. I don’t follow many blogs, because I like to enjoy the posts and comment on them, not only click ‘like’. Working full time I really need to be selective. I keep the number of follows, I like to see the numbers going up, it’s fun! And I love the puppy’s coat, it’s cute, she is ready for the winter. Have a great night!
Yes, commenting on the posts at least occasionally is what makes following a blog meaningful, whether we’re the followers or the followed. I’d prefer to have a small number of followers who comment regularly, rather than a large number who don’t have much to say.
So true Meg! Thanks for sharing this. It is inevitable to have that twinge of “what did I do wrong,” even when we know it is very likely not personal. I like the perspective that everyone is trying to simplify. And who knows, they may still visit but just had to pare down the email inbox, which is completely understandable.
Good point — too much email can indeed get overwhelming!
I too came to this realization a long time ago. Everyone else’s life doesn’t revolve around me. Their decisions really have little, if anything, to do with who I am or what I do. Popularity contests are unimportant in the grand scheme called…life. hugs for sharing…
Thanks… sometimes that stuff just seems to pop up anyway, even when we know better. It takes some effort to keep the drama monster away!