Last month I put in an application for an open position in my company, and I’ve been going through the internal interview process. Because I have been with the same employer for many years, the application isn’t stressful, in and of itself. I am simply looking for new experiences and an opportunity to gain more skills; there’s no imminent risk of layoffs or other bad consequences if I stay in my current position. Also, if I don’t get offered this particular job, it’s likely that something else will come up.

It did bring some amount of old subconscious stress to the surface, though. Memories of searching for a job when I was young and took rejections more personally, as if doors were getting slammed in my face, came bubbling up from wherever they’d been lurking. I would’ve expected those old insecurities to be long gone by now, but they took me somewhat by surprise.

At the same time, I’m also feeling better in a way that’s hard to define—more solid, more grounded. Becoming more aware of those fears has gone a long way toward releasing them.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”