Meg Evans

When I wrote my previous entry on Tuesday about cultivating creative energy, just before posting it I found myself thinking: Should I save it for Thursday? It fits the self-nurturing theme, and what if I can’t think of anything better for my Nurturing Thursday post?

Then I realized a “what if I can’t” attitude like that was very far from nurturing! Blogs are meant to be full of fresh new entries; and a blog author needs to trust that a good flow of creative inspiration will be forthcoming, instead of hoarding ideas like a greedy dragon jealously perched on a treasure chest.
 

Hoarding, whatever its object, never comes from a place of healthy self-nurturing. It always grows out of fear and doubt. The underlying script is, “If I let this go, I might not be able to get anything new to replace it, and then I’ll just have to do without.” The more hoarding that people do, the more their subconscious narrative of never getting anything new becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The converse also is true—when we regularly let things go and trust that our lives always will be full of abundance, lots of good new things are likely to show up! Just as soon as I decided to go ahead and post Tuesday’s entry, the idea for this post came to mind. If I had hoarded that entry instead, I’d never have thought of this one!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

When I set up the follow box in my sidebar, I decided not to display the number of followers because I didn’t want to feel that I was competing with other bloggers for popularity. I do glance at that statistic occasionally, though, while doing administrative tasks on the blog. A few days ago, I noticed that I was down one follower since the last time I looked, and my first reaction was to feel put out—not necessarily with a nice warm coat like my daughter’s puppy got for Christmas, either!
 

I found myself worrying that people didn’t like my blog, that I might carelessly have offended a reader without knowing it, et cetera. Of course, when I stopped to think about it, I realized that I was being very silly! Lots of people go through their blog subscriptions at the start of the new year and remove blogs they haven’t visited recently, without making any judgments as to merit. In fact, I had done that myself just the day before!

In our competitive modern society, it can be hard to remember that most of what happens is not about us. The decisions people make about how to spend their time generally are not driven by harsh value judgments; it’s simply a matter of managing a huge number of choices and a limited amount of time. So when people decide not to stay subscribed to a blog or otherwise not to stay in contact, they probably haven’t even thought much about it, but are just trying to simplify a busy life. It’s not personal.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

On Christmas morning it’s easy to find our presents. All we have to do is look under the tree and pick out the ones with the tags that say they’re for us. Life would be so much simpler if every day could be Christmas, wouldn’t it?
 

But going through the rest of the year, it’s not so easy. Sometimes we really have to hunt for those presents. When we let ourselves get too busy to appreciate the moment, they can seem very far away. Life starts to feel like we’ve been slogging through wet grass looking for Easter eggs on a cold, rainy April day, but all we found was a bit of squashed chocolate that somebody stepped on.

Of course, heaps of wonderful presents are all around us every day—sunshine and trees, family and friends, a good meal, a comfortable home. Getting too busy to notice them is like forgetting it’s Christmas and walking right past the tree without paying attention!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

If what we focus on becomes reality to us, then what effect does the common expression “I’m so tired of…” have on the world as we perceive it? I would say it’s a double whammy—not only does the annoying thing or situation become more noticeable, we also end up feeling physically and mentally tired whenever we think about it! So I suggest an alternative: Kick the habit of complaining about being tired of stuff, and regularly take time to notice things that make us happy instead.

I would call this an in-the-moment version of a gratitude list—it’s about paying attention to, and drawing joyful energy from, one thing at a time. They can be very simple things, such as: Yay, I’m wearing a pretty new sweater today! Woo hoo, I love that song on the radio! Hooray, it’s a beautiful sunny day! And if we look around and can’t find much in our surroundings that gives us positive energy, then we should bring in a few cheerful things, like fresh flowers.
 

Alternatively, if clutter is the most energy-draining thing in the home, then it would be helpful to remove things. Simply being in a clean and well-organized house every day can go a long way toward reducing stress and creating a more peaceful life!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

After a long string of very dark midwinter days, I’m looking out the window today at brilliant sunshine in a completely cloudless sky. When the sun came up this morning, the bare branches of the trees looked bright and golden—almost as if they were glowing with happiness to greet a long-lost friend.
 

Although the lack of daylight at this time of year often causes people to dwell on gloomy feelings, it doesn’t have to be that way—we can instead choose to see winter as a time for quiet reflection and appreciation. Winter gives us opportunities to feel more gratitude for the little things, such as a lovely sunrise that might otherwise have gone unnoticed.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

As the winter solstice approaches in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s common to feel that we have less energy to get things done on these short, dark days. Our ancestors in farming villages probably felt the same, but they didn’t worry about it because they already had gathered in the harvest, so their hard work for the year was finished. They simply acknowledged such feelings by lighting candles to brighten their homes during this season, understanding that it would soon pass. Now we have fiber-optic Christmas trees and other modern decorations, but the days of winter are just as short and dark as they’ve always been.
 

Unlike the farmers in those long-ago villages, most of us don’t have a natural break in our work this time of year. We may be able to take vacation time in December, but not everyone can do that—many people work in retail or other industries that are busier than usual. And even if we have vacation time scheduled at the end of the month, we’re still busy at work in early December, as well as making our holiday preparations.

So what’s to be done when we feel that we have less energy than usual and need some quiet, restful days? In addition to cheering ourselves up with holiday decorations and other bright and pretty things, I believe it’s important to keep in mind that we are doing enough. Even if we have ideas for projects that we’d like to do, and even if we have tasks that need to get done in the near future, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves if we can’t find the energy to do them right away. Like our ancestors, we may just want to light a candle and say, “This too shall pass.”

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

Getting together with family over the holidays reminds us to feel thankful for our many blessings. It’s a busy time, though, and people often get stressed out by extra chores and disrupted routines. So, in addition to giving to others, we need to keep in mind the importance of taking good care of ourselves. Then we can enjoy taking part in the delicious feast without feeling as if we’ve been cooked like the turkey!
 

Busy crowds and holiday music on store loudspeakers may be okay in small doses, but often they leave us needing to rest and recharge. Meditation, reading, and long walks in nature are ideal for relieving stress and getting into a reflective state of mind. This week I’ve been reading The Way is a River of Stars, in which the author describes walking the pilgrims’ route on the Camino de Santiago. The book is a gentle, peaceful narrative with the cozy feel of a handmade quilt; all the details have been carefully arranged and lovingly stitched together.

Keeping up with regular exercise routines during the holidays is important—not just to maintain weight, but to feel healthier in general. Familiar routines make our lives more predictable and less stressful; and when we don’t let ourselves get too busy for them, we’re sending a powerful message to the subconscious mind that things are under control. Exercise also gets the heart rate up and leaves us feeling invigorated and energetic!

And last but not least: Set aside time each day for personal projects such as crafts and writing, even if it’s only a few minutes. We live in a culture that often dismisses our creative impulses as nothing more than unimportant hobbies, fantasies, and obsessions. But even if we never make any money following our dreams, they are precious anyway because that’s how the authentic self flourishes—by coming out to play!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

This post is longer than the usual Nurturing Thursday entry, but please bear with me because it is meant as a continuation of last week’s half-baked post, and I hope it will make more sense! Before I got distracted by drama on someone else’s blog about a plagiarism incident, I had planned to write about social relationships in the modern world and how fragile they often seem. Sometimes it feels as if there is nobody we can count on to help us get through life—no safe ground.
 

Later I realized why I hadn’t been able to write on this subject while distracted by online drama. It’s all part of the same problem! In the small villages of long ago, people relied on their family and neighbors for survival. But in today’s world, where we just drive to the store and buy whatever we want, it feels like everybody is on their own. It’s good that we have more choices in the modern era—we are free to leave an unpleasant job, an abusive spouse, or a neighborhood we no longer enjoy. But the flip side of having so much freedom is that nobody has to stay with us either, and that feels very scary.

About five years ago, I was involved with an online community that fell apart. Efforts to punish bad behavior (such as by demanding that everyone delete their links to a blog where sexist stuff had been posted) went too far and left the community divided into several warring camps. Nasty gossip and conspiracy theories ran wild. As Elizabeth mentioned last week in my comments, online wrongdoing has to be punished so that the community can feel safe and enjoy blogging. But where do we draw the line to ensure that the punishment doesn’t end up being uglier than the crime?

Our ancestors’ villages had plenty of arguments and gossip too, but there were natural constraints. People knew that they couldn’t get too nasty with each other because they would need help if their barn caught fire or some other calamity happened. But in the modern world, we don’t need our virtual neighbors any more than we need our real-life neighbors. There is always somewhere else we can go; and of course, they don’t need us either. They’re free to tell us to shove off, as rudely as they want, whenever they feel like it.

So, when we put emotional energy into building relationships, it always feels risky. While I don’t expect anyone reading my blog would decide (for example) that I need to be punished for writing a bad Nurturing Thursday post last week, unexpected stuff happens all the time. There is never any certainty because the old rules of social interaction have gone out the window. Some of that is good because we have been clearing away ignorant prejudices, but some of it leaves us feeling vulnerable and anxious. How do we build a culture where people respect, value, and support each other just because it’s the right thing to do?

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I had planned to write on a topic suggested by Elizabeth in last week’s comments—the anxiety that comes from not having many close friends or knowing who will be there for us when we need help, as contrasted with our ancestors’ experiences in small, close-knit villages. But instead, I got into a conversation on another blog about standing up for oneself while also maintaining a kind and positive tone, and where to draw the line so as not to react unkindly out of anger.
 

How do you find the right balance between standing up for yourself online and avoiding unnecessarily negative situations? If someone wronged you online, such as by copying your material without permission, would you publicly demand that they take it down and apologize, in the hope of putting a stop to their bad behavior? Would you decide that the negative energy wasn’t worth it and, after trying to resolve the matter privately, just let it pass? Or would you take legal action? What would you consider the kindest and most self-nurturing way to deal with a situation like that?

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.