Looking for Coffee

November 17, 2024 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: , ,

Following up on last month’s post about sweaty hands while rowing, which stressed me out when I couldn’t hold the oars properly in a 5K race in early October, I had the same problem rowing at the Head of the Charles two weeks later. I drank plenty of electrolyte mix before racing, but I wasn’t as well rested as I should have been, and I drank too much coffee that morning. That got me wondering if I might do better if I abstained from coffee for a while.

So, I gave up caffeinated coffee and tea for three weeks, drinking only decaf until the end of the fall rowing season. That didn’t make the problem go away, either. It just made me feel cranky. I had been cheerful and optimistic when the season started, but by November I felt lost without a clue, wandering aimlessly.

Last week, after my final race of the year, I went back to drinking coffee—just one cup—each morning. As far as I can tell, a small amount of coffee doesn’t make me sweat more on the rowing machine. Even if it did, that wouldn’t matter anyway because holding the machine’s handle is a much simpler motion than sculling. My hands won’t be a concern in the spring either; for Masters rowers, the spring races are 1K sprints, which take about four minutes, so they’re already over before I’ve had time to build up much of a sweat.

Hopefully, by next fall the problem will have gone away. Until then, I am just going to enjoy my coffee and not worry about what might—or might not—happen many months in the future.

Word-art that says, "Not all who wander are lost. Most of them are just looking for coffee."

Not Sweating the Small (Midlife) Stuff

October 15, 2024 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: , ,

I got overly stressed last week after rowing the mixed double at the Head of the Ohio regatta in Pittsburgh, which for me was the start of the 5K fall racing season. The weather was great—sunny, with moderate temperatures and little wind. My husband and I, who were older than most of the crews, had a good start as several other boats got “satisfyingly small,” as my husband put it, behind our stern. We had plenty of energy and kept up the pace well.

But then, about two-thirds of the way down the course, my hands began sweating profusely. I couldn’t keep a firm grip on the oars and flubbed a few strokes. It didn’t matter in terms of where we finished; two crews were significantly faster, and we’d gotten well ahead of the others, so we had third place regardless. I worried about it afterward, though. My mind went into a gloomy negative spiral as I thought it was likely to be a midlife issue, and maybe it would last for years, and rowing wouldn’t be much fun anymore.

My husband offered the practical suggestion of putting Stickum on my hands when rowing. There isn’t really a product called Stickum anymore, although there used to be about 50 years ago, before professional sports banned it. Companies still make similar products for amateur athletes, though. It’s just a rag with a tacky chemical to wipe on the hands to improve grip.

Photo of a tacky rag inside a plastic bag.

The problem with using a Stickum-like product is that it starts to wear off after about 15 minutes, and a 5K rowing race takes longer than that in a double or single. So, although it did improve my grip, I was still stressed when we practiced on our home river last week. Because I was busy with work and with afternoon rowing practice, I didn’t have enough time to relax and get my mind in a better place before we left for another regatta in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. We had great weather there also, and we rowed well for a second-place finish. Although I never lost my grip on an oar, I still had unhappy thoughts, feeling that I didn’t even know if I could trust my own body.

After we got home and I’d had some time to rest and recover with a Monday vacation day, I finally did the sensible thing and read some articles online about how to deal with the problem of excessive sweating during exercise. As I suspected, it can be a midlife issue for women, caused by temperature regulation being less efficient. One simple recommendation was to drink ice water with electrolyte mix before exercise, rather than just drinking plain water (as I often had done). I tried that before getting on the rowing machine Monday evening, and my hands were fine, with minimal sweating.

We’re on the road again this week, rowing at the legendary Head of the Charles in Boston. I’ll keep in mind that in modern times, there is generally a solution for most issues and no need to sweat the small stuff.

Worries Out the Window

August 6, 2024 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

I’ve been enjoying my new windows, especially in the master bathroom, which we decided to do in a different style. It used to be a heavy double-hung window with a tattered old shade. Now it’s a nice side-by-side window with built-in blinds. Much improved!

Photo of window with built-in blinds.

Although I haven’t quite settled back down to my normal routine after the noise and disruption of last week’s window installation, I am feeling much better now that I have something new and cheerful to look at every day. When I walk into the bathroom, I tell myself that my worries are dissolving into the clear light of day and floating out the window. Nothing but dusty old history, no longer needed. Bye-bye.

Banishing the Impostor

April 1, 2024 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

As a trustee for a nonprofit organization, this past week I worked with the other board members interviewing candidates via Zoom to replace the departing executive director. It wasn’t a disruption to my regular workweek because my employer, LexisNexis, allows a reasonable amount of paid time for charitable work during business hours. I’ve been with the company for many years and appreciate having such benefits.

Still, the prospect of interviewing job applicants, which is not something that I have done in my career, gave me a serious case of impostor syndrome. The candidates reminded me of my younger self, feeling judged and at the mercy of other people’s expectations. Now, I was one of those doing the judging. What kind of puffed-up faker was I, wielding power to determine other people’s futures?

Image of a bird on a post wearing military regalia.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)

As the week went on, though, I began to feel more comfortable. I realized that it wasn’t about judging people personally, but about assessing skills and how well they matched the job, and that I did in fact have a reasonably good sense of what was needed.

Although I can’t honestly say that I have overcome the fears of the younger self who nervously applied for jobs so long ago, I do feel closer to getting there.

Yes, It’s OK if I’m a Mess

February 13, 2024 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Coming out of the pandemic, I set my ringtone to “Way Less Sad” because that song suited my mood at the time. I still had some anxiety from all the disruptions, and I couldn’t always say that I felt happy; but I was, as the song put it, way less sad.

When my husband mentioned recently that he had some Amazon credits for music or other digital products, I thought it was about time to change my ringtone, and I asked him to buy “Yes I’m A Mess.”


He seemed surprised and asked me why I wanted a goofy song about being a mess. I told him that it’s because the lyrics say, “I like myself like this.” To me, it’s a good reminder that on days when I might, for one reason or another, feel like a mess, it’s OK anyway.

Fun Conveniences, Reconsidered

August 9, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

After I wrote last Thursday’s post about being thankful for all the fun little conveniences we have nowadays, such as an online pizza delivery tracker, I thought about it a little more and realized such things also make workers more stressed. They are not totally sunshine and rainbows.

Photo of sunny hills and a rainbow.

(Photo credit: Colin Houston)

Back in the day, working in a pizza store was pretty simple. Store workers took orders over the phone, assembled and baked the pizzas, and either sent them out with delivery drivers or took payment directly from customers for carryout orders. Now, the phone still rings, but orders also come in by way of the computer, and workers have to scurry over to update the tracker program every time an order’s status changes. And, of course, it’s always a bad day for the workers if (when) the software gets glitchy.

Now, multiply that by all the computer-related tasks added to the lengthy to-do lists for just about every job in today’s world, and it explains a big chunk of those “too much going on” feelings.

That’s not to say we would be better off if we could wave a magic wand and go back to 1980, or any other simpler time in history. Our apps and other modern conveniences really do make our days more cheerful and interesting—as long as it’s someone else doing the work to make sure they’re functioning properly. Even if it’s our work, using computers doesn’t just pile on extra tasks, but also makes many things easier than if they had to be done the old-fashioned way. So, it’s a mixed bag; we have more to keep track of, but also more software to help with it. I am hopeful the balance will tip more in our favor as time goes on.

More Pushing than Expected

July 25, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

Following up on last Thursday’s post, I got a bit more pushing than I expected at the rowing regatta. Eagle Creek in Indianapolis looks peaceful and calm in this photo that I took when we arrived, but it is wide and often windswept, which makes it choppy and a challenging place to row.

Photo of Eagle Creek in Indianapolis.

On the practice day before the races started, when I had thought I’d go out in the double, my husband suggested that we row singles instead because the weather was good. I had never rowed a single there and, to be honest, I wasn’t planning to row it because racing singles are such tiny, narrow boats that it can be scary to go out on a choppy course. He talked me into it, though, and the water was in fact pretty calm, so it wasn’t bad.

We also had a good day for the mixed double race, with very little wind. The regatta was well attended, and our competitors were fast enough that we didn’t win any medals this time. Still, it gave us a good benchmark of how much we have improved and of what we need to work on.

The other races had the more typical windy, choppy conditions, and I felt that I had to push myself to keep going back out there. Our club currently does not have any quads that are small enough for lightweight crews (although one is on order), so we were bobbing around a lot, which made me nervous. By the end of the regatta, I was exhausted and glad to get home. Still, a few years ago, I couldn’t have done as much, so I can’t complain—it’s definitely doing me some good.

Only do it if…

June 1, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

…it doesn’t feel like a to-do.

This random bit of advice bubbled up from my subconscious mind early on Monday morning, after I went to bed feeling that the long weekend was almost over and I hadn’t done much. There wasn’t in fact anything that needed to be done right away, but I hadn’t been able to relax. I had in mind to answer an email, update my resume, and other non-urgent stuff. My blog was starting to feel neglected, too, but I didn’t feel creative enough to write anything. Even choosing an image for my art display seemed harder than usual on Sunday; I finally settled on this photo of the Columbia River Gorge.


Monday went better when I got my breakfast and simply asked myself what didn’t feel like a to-do. I had some thoughts about the email I wanted to write, so I started with that, and after a while the day started to feel more normal. Tuesday went reasonably well too, although I hadn’t quite sorted out what to say for this blog entry. Wednesday was busy, but not overwhelming.

Something felt different on Thursday morning, and then I realized that I’d gotten out of bed feeling much calmer. The big flock of to-dos had found somewhere else to roost. They won’t be missed!

Consistency

February 16, 2023 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: , ,

On both Saturday and Tuesday, I had good workouts on my Concept2 RowErg, in which I was able to stay below my desired pace of 2:05 for a series of five 500-meter intervals. These workouts, with a minute of rest between intervals, are meant to assess fitness for a 2K rowing machine race. Concept2 is the standard machine used for competitive races.

Rowing machine results for a 5x500 workout.

This is noteworthy because I had been trying to achieve the 2:05 pace for two years, but I had never been able to do it in a 2K race. I could stay at 2:05 for a little over 1000 meters, but then I would get tired and start slowing down. I couldn’t pick up the pace at the end, either; when I tried, my heart rate spiked and then I went even slower.

It wasn’t from lack of fitness; I was training pretty hard, and I could hold a better pace on 10-minute rowing races on the Hydrow machine, which didn’t make sense to me because a 2K race is shorter than 10 minutes. Why did one machine feel so much more exhausting than the other? I couldn’t figure it out, and the worse I did on the Concept2, the more anxiety I had about it.

So, when I did the practice on Saturday, instead of visualizing it as a race, I told myself that it was just another workout and that everything would be okay. I focused on staying consistent and didn’t worry about anything else. Much to my surprise, I felt that I had plenty of energy and was able to maintain the pace throughout. Then I spent all weekend wondering why. What had changed?

By Monday, it occurred to me that the difference was simply that I had started a little more slowly. With a Concept2 race, the machine has to be started from a standstill, and I had been taking three strokes faster than my race pace to get going quickly. Hydrow races, by contrast, have a flying start, which allows for a gradual buildup to race pace before the race actually starts.

I hadn’t thought it would matter if I used a little more energy at the start, but apparently that made it harder for me to sense when I was on a sustainable pace. Subconsciously, without having a consistent pace, I couldn’t be confident that I had enough energy to finish. I believe what happened was that after a while the uncertainty triggered my mental threat detectors, causing me to slow down to prevent overexertion. When I tested that theory by starting at a consistent pace on Tuesday, I was able to sustain it again.

Now I’ve started to wonder how many other things in my environment might be causing preventable feelings of anxiety or overwork. Maybe there are a lot of ways in which an easier pace, or some other simple change to everyday routines, might leave me feeling much calmer and more refreshed. I’ll be looking for them!

Violets Floating on Calm Water

May 19, 2022 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: , ,

My rowing club’s annual training camp, on the first weekend in May, left me feeling stressed. That was mainly because I hadn’t left myself enough time to rest and recover after traveling with my husband on a road trip to Chattanooga the previous weekend. We had fun, but it was a long way home, and then we were back to work as usual.

I hadn’t quite gotten back my energy when the rowing camp started, and the weather conditions left much to be desired—heavy rain on Friday, then high water, and a chilly wind. Walking between the boathouse and the dock, I noticed violets blooming in the grass, but I didn’t pay much attention to them because I was more focused on avoiding the goose poop.

Afterward, I was lying awake in bed on Sunday night sometime around midnight, still feeling unsettled. My bed felt like it was not firmly attached to the floor but, instead, was bobbing around like a boat on the river. Then it occurred to me that my archetypal imaginary protector, Dame Shadow, featured in several posts, hadn’t been around for quite some time. Admittedly, she could be troublesome: her past antics included giving me a backache to get my attention (twice) and shrieking at me to trust no one.

Still, I felt that Dame Shadow’s protection would be helpful at that moment. I did a bit of searching in odd corners of my psyche, trying to determine what had become of her. Although I didn’t see or hear the Dame anywhere, my bed started to feel like it was solidly anchored again. Behind my closed eyelids, tiny violet dots appeared all over the comforter, which floated peacefully above me; and I drifted off to sleep.

By morning I still didn’t feel entirely refreshed, but the image of violets floating on calm water had helped to settle my mind. I had a quiet workweek, followed by a mostly unhurried weekend in which I spent time in the yard, weeding and mulching. Meanwhile, my husband traveled to Michigan for a junior rowing regatta where he was a referee. He sent me a photo of the course, which was beautiful.

Photo of starting line at rowing regatta.

After he returned, we went for a short row in our double; he wanted to spend some time outdoors with me, even though he was tired from driving and from waking up early. We also rowed on Monday and Tuesday.

I wasn’t expecting to go out yesterday because of rain, but it started tapering off later in the day. My husband said we’d be fine with our raincoats. I wasn’t as confident because we’d gotten soaked through our raincoats during the rowing camp, but it turned out he was right. The water was calm, the rain moved off, and we saw a rainbow. It was getting dark by the time we took the boat out of the water, and the grass was still wet, as were my feet; but then I thought about walking through violets, and all was well.

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