Sometimes, thinking of all that needs to be done to change the world can feel overwhelming. When that happens, I find it helpful to sit in silence, feeling the peaceful rhythms of my breathing and of my heartbeat. Not everything can be done in this moment, I remind myself—but, with kindness, much can be done.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
All parts of this story are consolidated on one page here.
Ina, wearing a faded but clean dress that fit reasonably well, sat in an oversized chair on Nellie’s front porch, piled high with embroidered cushions. Her bandaged feet rested comfortably on a feather pillow on a low stool. A table held a teacup and a large plate overflowing with apricot scones. Beyond the porch, in the hazy afternoon sunlight, bees buzzed serenely in a flower garden along a white picket fence.
Nellie hovered like a hummingbird, full of nervous energy, pouring more tea into Ina’s cup and pacing from one end of the porch to the other. Inside the cabin, Mabel and her little brother Godfrey were napping. Mabel had woken briefly, murmuring “Mama,” when Nellie stripped off her wet clothing and put a clean gown on her, but then she had fallen back to sleep.
Hammering and clattering could be heard from across the yard, where Nellie’s husband, John, was busy repairing a shed. Ina suspected he was working nearby to keep a close watch on her, given Nellie’s evident fear of witchcraft. In truth, Ina couldn’t have posed much of a threat to anyone at present. She felt weak as a kitten, and just reaching for a scone made her shoulder start to ache.
“Are you quite comfortable, Ina? Do you need anything more?”
A gray cat ran across the porch and leaped into the grass. Nellie’s gaze followed it for just a moment before darting back to the doorway. The children still slept quietly.
“I’m fine, Nellie. Sit down and have some tea yourself, why don’t you?”
Taking much slower steps, Nellie got herself a cup and sat directly across the table from Ina, with her chair pushed back so far that she could barely reach the table. Not meeting Ina’s eyes, she looked down at the cup but did not make any move to lift it.
Ina gentled her voice. “I won’t harm you, Nellie. I am a healer, taught to serve always with love.”
She turned the word over in her thoughts, seeking certainty. Healer. Yes, she could claim that status now. It seemed as if ages had passed since she had tried—and failed—to summon healing energy in the infirmary where Phoenix was recovering from a broken leg. It had only been this morning, though.
“Why do you fear the witches of the Wild Forest?” Ina took another sip of her tea, which tasted of lemon and soothing herbs. “Have any of us ever done you any harm?”
Finally glancing up, Nellie opened her mouth as if about to speak, but then closed it again. Her hands clenched around the edge of the table.
Ina took another scone and bit into it, waiting patiently.
“Six years ago, on Midsummer’s Eve—the witches killed my sister.”
This week, I couldn’t summon enough energy for writing. The world feels as if it is rushing over a waterfall. Although many things are out of my control, I can choose to take enough time to rest. I am not obligated to push myself to do better, work harder, or impress anyone with my diligence. I can consciously decide to slow down enough to create a safe space in which to heal.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
Although I won’t be doing anything for Halloween this year because my husband and I are traveling, Halloween does fall on a Thursday this year, so a greeting to suit the occasion seems right for today’s Nurturing Thursday post. Boo!
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
My husband recently had a birthday, and I gave him a card wishing him “many more adventures” as we were leaving for the Head of the Charles regatta. We were given a great parking space for the boat trailer when we arrived in Boston. It was right next to a dock, and the weather was sunny and comfortable. We rigged our double and went for a practice row.
Then we visited the Hydrow office, which was lots of fun. We’ve been using our Hydrow rowing machine regularly since we bought it almost five years ago in a Black Friday sale; it’s connected to an online library of workout videos featuring athlete instructors rowing on rivers across the world. Also, there are “journey” rows without an instructor where you can just watch the scenery go by, and other options that include yoga, Pilates, and stretching and mobility exercises. Hydrow always has something new and interesting to find.
The company invited us to take part in a panel discussion with other customers and with some of the athletes, and they also filmed my husband, who is very active in the Hydrow users’ Facebook groups, for a commercial. That was all very cool! On race day, the weather stayed good, and the river was calm. The Head of the Charles is the largest rowing regatta in the world, with many high-level competitors, so my husband and I were just in it for fun. That was all right; just being there is exciting.
Last week, after returning home, we did a 5K Halloween running race, and now we’re off again for another rowing regatta in Chattanooga. So much traveling and racing takes a lot of energy, and I’ll be ready to wind down and take it easier when the winter comes; but it’s good to have future adventures to imagine.
After coming home on Monday night from a long road trip to Boston, I haven’t felt quite settled in yet. It’s an odd feeling, almost like a dream—as if I need to be somewhere, but I’m not sure where it is. I’ve been reminding myself that I simply need to be all there, wherever it may be; and the rest can take care of itself.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
In October, I’m traveling often with my husband, rowing in regattas. It is a great way to keep in shape, but it can be tiring and can leave me feeling rushed. When I get those feelings of always being in too much of a hurry, I remind myself to just breathe and be in the moment, rather than overthinking the schedule. It’s really not as hard as I sometimes make it out to be.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
I got overly stressed last week after rowing the mixed double at the Head of the Ohio regatta in Pittsburgh, which for me was the start of the 5K fall racing season. The weather was great—sunny, with moderate temperatures and little wind. My husband and I, who were older than most of the crews, had a good start as several other boats got “satisfyingly small,” as my husband put it, behind our stern. We had plenty of energy and kept up the pace well.
But then, about two-thirds of the way down the course, my hands began sweating profusely. I couldn’t keep a firm grip on the oars and flubbed a few strokes. It didn’t matter in terms of where we finished; two crews were significantly faster, and we’d gotten well ahead of the others, so we had third place regardless. I worried about it afterward, though. My mind went into a gloomy negative spiral as I thought it was likely to be a midlife issue, and maybe it would last for years, and rowing wouldn’t be much fun anymore.
My husband offered the practical suggestion of putting Stickum on my hands when rowing. There isn’t really a product called Stickum anymore, although there used to be about 50 years ago, before professional sports banned it. Companies still make similar products for amateur athletes, though. It’s just a rag with a tacky chemical to wipe on the hands to improve grip.
The problem with using a Stickum-like product is that it starts to wear off after about 15 minutes, and a 5K rowing race takes longer than that in a double or single. So, although it did improve my grip, I was still stressed when we practiced on our home river last week. Because I was busy with work and with afternoon rowing practice, I didn’t have enough time to relax and get my mind in a better place before we left for another regatta in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. We had great weather there also, and we rowed well for a second-place finish. Although I never lost my grip on an oar, I still had unhappy thoughts, feeling that I didn’t even know if I could trust my own body.
After we got home and I’d had some time to rest and recover with a Monday vacation day, I finally did the sensible thing and read some articles online about how to deal with the problem of excessive sweating during exercise. As I suspected, it can be a midlife issue for women, caused by temperature regulation being less efficient. One simple recommendation was to drink ice water with electrolyte mix before exercise, rather than just drinking plain water (as I often had done). I tried that before getting on the rowing machine Monday evening, and my hands were fine, with minimal sweating.
We’re on the road again this week, rowing at the legendary Head of the Charles in Boston. I’ll keep in mind that in modern times, there is generally a solution for most issues and no need to sweat the small stuff.
It was still dark when I woke up this morning, but it was late enough that trying to go back to sleep wouldn’t have been productive, so I got up and started my workday earlier than usual. At first, I was a bit grumpy because my sleep hadn’t been as refreshing as I would have liked and because I had been rushing too much this week. A cup of coffee helped me to feel more awake, though, and the quiet house was peaceful. There really wasn’t anything to complain about, after all.
Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”
Shortly after my daughter’s marriage in 2018, I developed a weird “phantom ring” issue where I sometimes felt that the ring finger of my right hand either had a ring on it, when it didn’t really have one, or was missing a ring that should have been there. I normally wear three left-hand rings—wedding and engagement, with a 20-year anniversary ring in the middle.
Where the phantom ring might have come from was totally baffling. There was never a time when I regularly wore a ring on the right-hand ring finger. I have one for it, with a small rose-quartz stone, which my husband bought for me long ago; but I’ve only worn that ring occasionally, and whether I wore it more or less often didn’t seem to make any difference with the phantom ring issue.
This year, it occurred to me that if I had a 40-year anniversary ring, it probably would go on my right hand because four rings would be a bit much for my left hand. I visualized the new ring as having the same design as the 20-year ring, with a row of small stones, but they would be rubies because that is the traditional gemstone for the 40th anniversary.
After that, I never felt that my right hand was missing a ring. I presume that’s because the phantom ring has now been “found,” in that it belongs to my future self, who is keeping it safe. Perhaps the message from my subconscious mind is that I need to take care that my marriage doesn’t get misplaced!
