I’ve been indoors for most of this week’s cold days, except for some errands on Tuesday. Today was dark and gloomy, leaving me with a touch of the winter blahs. I knew I’d feel better after doing my rowing machine workout and getting my heart rate up; the plan for today called for high-intensity intervals, and I’d done this exercise before and had a good sense of how to pace myself for them.

Still, it took me most of the day to summon up the energy to get started. The blah thoughts, in which my imagination constructed a stressful scenario that was not in fact likely to happen in real life, hadn’t totally gone away by the time I finished my warm-up row, but the intervals effectively left me with no thoughts of anything but sucking in more air. The workout itself was not much fun; but afterward, I felt much better.

Word-art that says, "Every time you choose to go for a walk instead of reacting to a stressful situation, you win."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

This week has been cold and snowy here in Ohio. A few days ago, I took a photo of the snow on my deck piled against the patio door, which left me wishing to be somewhere warmer.

Photo of snow on my deck, taken through the patio door.

That got me thinking about my younger selves in the make-believe village of Channelwood, who appeared more regularly in this blog a few years ago but have been somewhat neglected since then. I visited them for a pretend spring break in 2021, when of course nobody got a real one because of the pandemic. This year, my husband and I have travel plans for Sarasota in mid-February; but that is still a month from now, which seems very far away when there is snow on the ground every day.

Looking at the photo, I heard wings beating in my imagination. A greenish-gray dragon landed on my deck with a thump, tucking his wings and curling his tail to fit inside the railing. On his back was my five-year-old Peter Pan alter ego, wearing a green jacket with matching pants and boots. Steam billowed up around the dragon as his warmth melted some of the snow. Peter beckoned for me to come outside, and I pictured myself in suitable winter gear stepping into the image.

“I’ve just come from Neverland,” Peter informed me, “and this is my good friend, the Never Dragon. You’ve met him once before—in Channelwood, when he was a baby. He says he wants to go back there for a visit, so I thought we could all fly to Channelwood together.”

The dragon didn’t have a saddle, but I decided that I certainly ought to be able to avoid falling off, since this was my own daydream. I climbed up behind Peter, and the dragon lifted into the sky, heading east.

After we’d been flying steadily for a while, we got into some clouds, which felt cold and clammy. My glasses fogged over, and I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the dragon went into a gentle glide. We came out of the clouds just above Channelwood’s beach. The air felt much warmer here—wonderfully springlike—as we landed softly in the sand.

I slid down from the dragon’s back and just stood there for a moment, enjoying the sound of the waves and the scent of the sea. The sky was clearing, and the warm sunlight on my face was delightful. I felt as if I could stand here all day.

Peter took three small red apples from his pockets and gave one to me. He bit into another and held out the third apple to the dragon, who devoured it in one gulp. Apple-scented steam rose from the dragon’s nostrils, and after I’d taken a few bites of my apple, the dragon was happy to eat the core.

“Now that we’ve had lunch,” Peter said cheerfully, “what adventures shall we go on today? How about looking for pirate ships to chase away from the coast? Or maybe there’s a sea monster in the bay or a wicked witch in the woods.”

A wave reached higher with the incoming tide, gently rolling almost to my feet, which were still in their winter boots. Starting to feel hot, I unzipped my coat. I noticed a pretty pink shell not far to my left.

“Can’t we just take off our boots and go for a barefoot walk along the beach, picking up shells and enjoying the lovely weather?” I suggested.

Peter looked disgusted by the very idea. “Grown-ups are always so boring! No sense of adventure at all. Tinker Bell, send her home!”

I heard a soft fluttering and the chiming of small bells behind my head. Before I could turn around or do anything, a sparkly shower of fairy dust came down around me. The beach scene faded away, and I found myself back in my kitchen next to the patio door.

By now, the temperature had climbed above freezing, a light rain had started to fall, and some of the snow on my deck had melted. I imagined that if I looked closely enough, I could just see the long, sinuous outline of the dragon in what remained of the snow.

I’m always wondering what day to take down the Christmas tree in mid-January. Until then, I leave it up because it brightens the winter gloom and I’m not quite ready for the holidays to be over. Then I become indecisive, wanting more sparkly lights on dark days and also wanting to put the tree away for another year and feel that spring is getting closer.

For now, I’m going to let the decision wait a few more days and just look at the stars, instead.

Word-art that says, "When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

I made a contribution last month to the Carter Center, remembering the former president’s tireless work to advance democracy and to make the world a better place. He had a full and inspiring life, well deserving of the praise he received today. Character still matters.

Word-art that says, "The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." -Laura Ingalls Wilder

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

I had a full workday after a long and relaxing holiday break. Weirdly, it didn’t feel much different. The end of the holidays didn’t leave me feeling deprived of free time. All day, I sat in my desk chair feeling just as relaxed as if I’d been playing games or browsing through blogs, although I was doing my usual job. My Garmin tracker said that I had multiple restful periods while working. Whatever might have caused this curious circumstance, I felt that I was fully inhabiting the now.

Word-art that says, "All we have is now."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

“Okay, I am not going to judge whether my resolution for last year was a success,” I said to myself after I’d been staring at a blank notepad for several minutes, trying to get started writing this post.

Outside my living room windows, January 1st was a typical winter day in Ohio: cloudy, cold, and windy. Light snow had mostly melted, and the ground just looked damp and soggy. My couch was comfortable, though; I’d bought it in late summer, soon after getting the windows replaced. A new purple blanket—a Christmas gift from my daughter—occupied the other end of the couch, ready to keep my feet warm if needed.

Photo of a purple blanket on my couch.

In terms of material comforts, I had made some progress on my New Year’s resolution for 2024—to soar, letting go of things that weighed me down. The house wasn’t looking as neglected these days. I felt better now that I had good, clear windows letting in plenty of sunlight.

Replacing worn-out old physical stuff—however desirable—hadn’t been the main point, though. Did I feel lighter emotionally as the past year came to a close? Had I become less weighed down by old worries? That was harder to determine, and I had a strong intuitive feeling that I shouldn’t be judging myself in such terms anyway. After all, I wasn’t under any obligation to give my psyche a year-end performance review.

Dot, my imaginary personified to-do list and New Year’s resolution advisor, chose that moment to make her appearance. She curled up cozily on the other end of the couch, kicking off the red shoes she’d worn on the yellow brick road in 2023. Arranging her long skirt comfortably over her stockinged feet on the middle cushion, she helped herself to my blanket.

“No gold stars for waking up in a good mood,” she inquired, “or lumps of coal for feeling grumpy?”

“Well, no. Moods come and go. Intending to wake up cheerful doesn’t guarantee that it will happen. If I wanted to give myself gold stars, it would be for promptly recognizing grumpy moods and allowing them to pass. As to that, I feel I’ve done better toward year’s end, although there is space for improvement. I have the word ‘Allow’ in mind as a word of intention for 2025.”

“Allow what is, without judgment as to how it got there,” Dot suggested, pulling together my somewhat disorganized themes, “and then allow it to pass, as it always does.”

The holiday clock on the shelf chimed the hour with a snippet of ‘O Christmas Tree’ as I considered Dot’s idea for a resolution.

“I like that. It fits together,” I decided. “To be honest, I haven’t found much energy for writing on this dark winter day, but I can allow that to be my reality in the moment without judging myself. That doesn’t mean it will be the same tomorrow or next week. By closing out this post with a workable resolution, I’ve accomplished what I wanted to do for today, even if I haven’t written a brilliantly creative epic.”

Dot patted the couch softly. Toto jumped up beside her, stretching out on the middle cushion and kneading a corner of the blanket between his front paws.

“Yes, sometimes we just need to rest and be lazy for a while, letting our energy build back up. Pets know that by instinct, and it’s just as true for us.”

I’ve had a quiet day so far, talking with my husband about everyday things, reading a novel on my Kindle, and exchanging emails with my sister in San Francisco that have cute photos of dogs wanting to play. After a peaceful, unhurried holiday week, my first thought about writing a Nurturing Thursday post was that I didn’t have much to say. Then it occurred to me that appreciating these small joys is well worth a blog entry—perhaps more so than chronicling busy days crammed full of tasks.

Word-art that says, "Discover the small joys tucked in the corners of each day."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

This is the 15th story in a series. Click here to read all parts from the beginning.

Maybe some people’s lives would have flashed before their eyes when a hungry wild beast leaped toward them, but that wasn’t what happened with me. Instead, it felt like a car wreck I had seen a few years ago, when I’d stopped my Chevy truck behind a line of cars at a red light on a divided four-lane road in Knoxville and some crazy guy came barreling around a curve toward me, going twice the speed limit. He was either going to hit my truck or the car in the lane beside me—there wasn’t time for anything else to happen—and all I could do for that fraction of a second was just sit there hoping it wouldn’t be me.

As it turned out, it wasn’t me, and I got lucky again with the warhagalla. The beast came close enough that I could see every detail of its open jaws and huge fangs before it chomped down on the flying rodent right next to me. Blood spattered all over the snow, barely missing my white fur coat. The warhagalla sat down almost within arm’s length of me, happily gnawing on its prey as its big brown tail thumped the frozen ground, just like a dog with a biscuit.

I edged away a few steps before dropping the shovel and pulling the knife from my belt instead. “Enjoy your breakfast, Rover,” I said under my breath, as I backed away into the trees. Looking to my left, I thought I saw more drops of blood, but I soon realized I was mistaken. A tiny patch of red flowers had started coming into bloom under one of the evergreens.

Photo of red flowers mostly hidden by snow.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)

By the time I got back to the cabin, Ira was busy stoking the fire. He stood up as I hurried inside, still tightly clutching the knife, and dropped the heavy wooden bar across the door.

“A warhagalla in the trees.” Rather than putting the knife back in the box where I’d found it, I set it down on a shelf near my coat for easier access. “Looks like the beast didn’t get the memo about staying away from the cursed mountains.”

“They range widely. Most often they’re in other places.”

Ira didn’t seem too concerned as he tossed another log on the fire and poked at it, watching the flames rise. I walked toward him, thinking I should offer to help with other chores. After two days here, without slaying dragons or doing much else, I’d started to feel that I wasn’t earning my keep. I had been chosen to travel through the sorcerers’ portal, or so the Romanian woman had said; but I still had no clue why.

Then it occurred to me that my host might be able to tell me a little more about it, even though he wasn’t really a sorcerer.

“Just before I was taken through the magic portal,” I told Ira, “someone came up to me and said I’d been chosen because I was neither female nor male, drawing upon all the powers of the earth and sky. Do you have any idea what that might have meant?”

Apparently satisfied with the fire’s progress, Ira took a step away from it. “Dragons are of the sky, and people are of the earth,” he observed, stretching his long-limbed body and cracking his big knuckles.

Okay, that part wasn’t too hard, even for a caveman. “And powers?”

“We have few powers since the sorcerers left us. Probably there are other spellbooks besides the one here, but most of my people wouldn’t be able to read them. As for dragons, if they have any powers other than flight and breathing fire, I don’t know what those might be.”

Nothing came to my mind either. During the years I’d been working in the dragon-control business, no dragons had ever used magical powers to escape my nets.

After a minute or two passed, I was starting to think that Ira had nothing more to say. Then he added, in a distinctly sour tone, “There are some among my people who claim they are neither female nor male. That is another reason why we diminish.”

Well, dang—I hadn’t seen that coming. Yeah, I’d heard worse in Tennessee, but I hadn’t expected to get it from a furry giant on an alien planet.

“Whatever,” I said just as sourly, turning away as if to look out the window. Not that there was anything to see; yesterday’s thick layer of ice still covered the glass, although it looked like it was melting a bit.

I heard logs shifting and sparks popping as Ira poked the fire again, though it didn’t seem to need it. The cabin was warming up fairly well.

“If I had children, I would teach them to read,” Ira finally said, his tone softening. “I’d like to be a father, and I think I could be a good one. But I haven’t found a woman who wants to have children—most don’t, these days. I sometimes feel I can’t blame them. It’s true what they say, that this isn’t much of a world to bring a child into—but if we don’t even try, then how can anything get better?”

A loud crash like glass shattering came from outside the window, but the ice-encrusted pane was still in one piece. A big icicle, I supposed, falling from the roof and breaking on the hard ground. Another of this place’s many hazards. Ira probably had to dodge falling icicles all winter long.

I stepped away from the window, turning to face him again.

“I don’t know, Ira. Where I come from, some people say that we have to find our purpose in life, but I’ve never been convinced of that. For me, it feels like there are many small purposes to be found in each moment, and all I can do is sort through them as best I can.”

This morning, while sitting at my desk, I was feeling achy after some hard rowing machine exercises recently. The plan for today called for two sets of high-speed intervals, which (to be honest) I didn’t feel motivated to do. When I sat down on the Hydrow around noon, I was grumbling to myself about having too many demanding workouts right before Christmas vacation, rather than being able to relax and wind down.

I started to feel better after an easy 15-minute warmup, though. Watching the virtual-journey scenery (the one I chose was a river in Australia) go by on the monitor was relaxing, and the aches faded away. When I did the intervals, I was faster than the previous time I’d done them, and I felt stronger. Afterward, I did an easy 30-minute cool-down row to flush out the muscles, and later in the day I did some exercises with a soft foam roller. I’m feeling pretty good now—there was nothing to grumble about, after all.

Word-art that says, "The one who falls and gets up is much stronger than the one who never fell."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

When I sat down at the computer this evening to put together a Nurturing Thursday post, I have to confess that I was not feeling imaginative and wasn’t sure what to say. My day had been quiet and calm, but not particularly creative. I felt like I had words floating around randomly in my brain that didn’t want to arrange themselves into anything useful. Rather than worry about where my imagination might have gone, I decided that I should just get some rest and be thankful for a calm day.

Word-art that says, "The best use of imagination is creativity. The worst use of imagination is anxiety." -Deepak Chopra

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”