August 10, 2014 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Although my daughter had planned to move at the beginning of August, she is still here because she didn’t put down a deposit promptly enough after finding an apartment she liked. They gave it to someone else, and now she has to wait for another unit in that complex to come open at the end of August. It’s a good life lesson for her, but in the meantime her clutter is still occupying my house while she procrastinates about cleaning it up.

I reminded her about a desk she used in high school, which has a drawer crammed full of junk. “There’s nothing much in the drawer—just a few pencils,” she tried to convince me. As you can see from this photo, she didn’t get too far with that argument.
 

Desk drawer full of old pencils, pens, and other junk. 

And this is what the shelf under the drawer looks like. The boxes to the right contain ancient CDs for stuff that became obsolete long ago.
 

Desk shelf full of clutter. 

I’ve been patient with her because she did very well to get through a rigorous nursing program in four years while also playing soccer. Not many college athletes can manage that. But that junk in the desk is going to have a close encounter with a big black trash bag in the very near future.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Many of us keep a gratitude list as a reminder to appreciate our everyday blessings such as family, a home, clothing, and food. When we’re feeling stressed and grouchy, taking a few minutes to consider the good things can be enough to banish that rotten mood. And when gratitude becomes a regular habit, it can bring about a far-reaching shift in perspective.

When I wrote yesterday’s post Moments of Grace, in which I mentioned wanting a deck of miniature cards as a little girl and then unexpectedly getting them as a prize from a gumball machine, I thought about how children naturally appreciate those small wonderful moments. And that led me to a question: What can we do as adults to cultivate that sense of life being filled with magical prizes everywhere? Well, how about starting a new kind of gratitude list called the Bubble Gum List?
 

Antique bubble gum machine.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

As I envision it, the Bubble Gum List would be for moments that inspire a feeling of “I just got the biggest, bestest prize ever, YAY!” Moments when you just can’t believe your luck, when everything in the world suddenly feels so right that instead of walking, you just want to skip and dance.

Children have moments like that all the time, of course. But as adults, we set the bar much higher when it comes to allowing ourselves to feel spontaneous joy. After all, sensible adults don’t go around singing and dancing just because of a happy little moment, do they? So we subconsciously deny ourselves permission to acknowledge those feelings and don’t pay them any attention when they show up. Keeping a list of joyful moments can go a long way toward changing that mindset and convincing ourselves it’s all okay.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

August 6, 2014 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

Among the hot fashion fads of 1969 was a lacquered wooden purse with assorted bright and colorful decorations, which always included a shiny penny on top. My mom had one, and I coveted it with a passion, especially the tiny Ace of Hearts next to the penny. I wasn’t really all that interested in carrying a purse to kindergarten—but oh, did I want a deck of miniature cards! I must have driven my mom to distraction with my begging. But of course, in those days searching for odd little items was a lot harder than it is now. My mom did look for them, but Christmas came and went without any miniature cards in my stocking.

The mysterious ways of Providence brought me a deck of tiny cards in January, neatly enclosed in a plastic capsule from a bubble-gum machine. They even looked like the card on my mom’s purse. I was thrilled! Of course, my sister and I promptly lost half the deck while pretending that our dolls were playing card games; but it was great fun while it lasted.

Many years later, my sister remembered how much I had liked the wooden purse, and she bought a similar one as a gift for me. This one has no miniature card on top, and of course the 1969 penny is no longer bright and shiny; but otherwise it’s much the same. I keep it in a corner of my study as a decoration and smile whenever I look at it.
 

Wooden purse with stickers and 1969 penny. 

As children, we don’t stop to reflect on the little miraculous events in our everyday lives. We’re much too busy playing; and life seems magical anyway, so why shouldn’t the things we want just pop out of a bubble-gum machine? But after we grow up and develop task-oriented adult minds, our sense of everyday wonder doesn’t come as naturally as it once did. We may not even notice the moments of grace in our daily lives unless we carefully cultivate habits of appreciation and gratitude.

And when we do, we’re likely to start discovering unexpected blessings everywhere.

While looking through some work-related papers at the back of a desk drawer in my home study, I found a stack of training materials from January 2001, when I helped to train a group of new hires. There was some other useless stuff in there too, like instructions for installing Windows 2000, along with a stack of paper newsletters (what a quaint concept that seems now!) from that time period. Evidently, I had put all that stuff in the drawer and left it there for many years without looking at it.
 

Training instructions document dated January 2001 

I would say there’s another training lesson to take away from this discovery—the need to train oneself in the habit of regularly disposing of clutter, otherwise it builds up without even being noticed. Drawers, shelves, closets… they’re all magnets for clutter, and they can’t be kept organized without taking an inventory of the contents every once in a while. Especially in the modern world, with so many things becoming obsolete in just a few years, it’s all too easy to end up with a heap of useless stuff that has long outlived its purpose.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

My mother-in-law enjoys gambling. She occasionally goes to Vegas or takes bus trips to casinos with her friends. When she gambles, she decides in advance how much money to put toward it, in an amount she wouldn’t be too upset about losing. If she wins, that’s good; and if not, there’s always another chance for better luck next time.
 

Slot machine with bars and 7s.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

I do not gamble and have never visited a casino, but this approach strikes me as a good attitude to have toward life generally. We’re always making decisions about how much money or time to spend on everyday things; and if we take the perspective that it’s just a small amount and its loss would be no big deal, then we’re less likely to get upset when something doesn’t work out the way it was intended.

So many people are afraid to make choices and try new things because they might be wrong. Well, so what? In most situations, being wrong is not a major calamity. If we try a new activity and don’t like it, or if we buy something and it turns out to be a waste of money, that’s not much different from losing a small amount of gambling money, and there’s no reason to be upset about it.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

July 29, 2014 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

This post is a follow-up to last Wednesday’s entry Tithing Time, in which I considered how an abundant mindset in giving away time might result in attracting more time. Cultivating a feeling that time is an abundant resource can lead to reflection and positive behavioral changes, I concluded, thus resulting in better time management. Having recently donated two days of my vacation time, I set myself a challenge to monitor my time more closely for the rest of the year, to see if any unexpected additional time does in fact turn up.
 

Shiny brass analog clock. 

At first, there didn’t seem to be anything promising on the horizon when it came to attracting time. Thursday was a long day with a lot to do; I had two personal errands on my calendar for Monday morning and expected to take a half-day of vacation; and on Tuesday (today) I had a hair appointment scheduled, making my workday run longer afterward. Also, when my daughter gets her new apartment, my husband and I plan to help her move. So it just looked like I would be busy, busy, busy, with no relief in sight!

Friday went smoothly and left me feeling pretty relaxed, though; so I decided to do some work on Sunday afternoon to make up for Monday morning, instead of taking a half-day off. That was something I usually hadn’t done in the past because I felt that I needed my weekends to rest, and didn’t want to cut into that time. But as it turned out, the work seemed like it went quickly; and I didn’t end up feeling deprived because of having less time to read, play video games, or whatever I might have been doing instead.

By the time I got started on Monday morning’s errands, I realized that I’d already gotten back 4 hours of the 16 that I gave away, just by not taking the half-day of vacation time! Although working on Sunday is not something I would do as a general rule, I didn’t feel that it had made this particular weekend stressful or hectic. And I am sure I’ll appreciate that vacation time whenever I decide to take it. So, at the end of the first week, I would describe the time-attraction challenge as going well.
 

Click here to read the final post in this series, Making Peace with Time.

The hall closet in my front entryway is so full of my daughter’s clutter that the other family members haven’t kept anything in it for many years; we’ve all been using the closet next to the garage door instead. Given the fact that she spent the past four years away at college, at the very latest I should have dealt with it when she first left home. Last summer, when she accumulated so much stuff that the door wouldn’t close, I told her to clean it up, and she dutifully filled three large bags with stuff to give to the thrift store. But this is a girl who can’t pass by a pair of shoes on sale without gleefully adding them to her collection, so the closet soon filled up again. I have no idea how she ever manages to find a pair of matching shoes in there, when she just throws them all in a colossal heap.
 

Cluttered closet full of shoes, coats, and other stuff. 

No more! This year I’ve resolved to free my house of clutter, and it’s past time for all the stuff in that closet to depart on a one-way journey—either to the thrift store or to my daughter’s new apartment, as she prefers. She put in her rental application today, and plans to move into the apartment next weekend. When she does, I want the closet completely empty. Although it can be sad when a child grows up and leaves home, I won’t be mourning the loss of that clutter!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

As I mentioned in the comments to my Nurturing Thursday post last week, there is a bizarrely mismatched hedge along my property line, which a neighbor planted many years ago. I suspect she did it with no forethought at all, just buying a totally random assortment of whatever trees and shrubs happened to be on sale.  Nearest the street, the hedge consists of a redbud tree, some honeysuckle bushes, an apple tree, and other stuff that has no apparent rhyme or reason to it. Since it was planted, a new family has moved in, without redoing the hedge. I can’t really blame them for putting that chore at the bottom of their priority list—honestly, in their position I wouldn’t be all that enthusiastic about it, either.
 

Neighbor's hedge of various random plants. 

Farther down, there is a gap where the resident deer herd (who can’t be hunted within the city limits, and show almost no fear of humans) got in the habit of walking through. They trampled the shrubs, leaving weeds in their path. This year it’s mostly Queen Anne’s lace; I made sure to cut off the thistles before they flowered, given the fact that the wind is likely to blow any seeds toward my yard. But thankfully, because I have a side-entry garage, none of my windows face the side yard next to my driveway, so I don’t have to look at this from my house.
 

Gap in hedge, full of weeds. 

By now you’re probably wondering what a neighbor’s hedge has to do with self-nurturing. I haven’t yet gotten to the best part! Just by the luck of the draw, one of the plants at the back of the hedge is an orange trumpet vine that has grown tall and robust along my backyard fence. Last year it looked absolutely gorgeous, with flowers and hummingbirds everywhere. Although it hasn’t blossomed much this year, probably because of the harsh winter, it still gives that corner of my yard a lovely storybook appearance.
 

Trumpet vine on my backyard fence. 

This is what I see when I look out my kitchen window. Delightful! And it wouldn’t have been there if my neighbor hadn’t planted all that mismatched stuff; the idea of planting a trumpet vine had never occurred to me! So, every time I look out my kitchen window, the view reminds me that there’s always something to appreciate about the random things in life.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

July 23, 2014 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: ,

In the usual sense of the word, “tithing” means contributing to the support of a church. But the word also can refer more generally to putting a portion of one’s money, goods, or time toward charitable purposes. Sarah Ban Breathnach gives it the second, broader meaning when discussing the concept in her book Simple Abundance, in which she says that willingness to give is essential to creating an abundant life. Moreover, she observes that we naturally attract the things we choose to give.

“It’s been my discovery that when I tithe time, I receive more time,” she says. “When I tithe goods, I receive gifts. If I want more money in my life, I tithe money… Affirming our abundance now, by becoming generous givers, dramatically demonstrates our prosperity to the doubter within.”

Last week I learned that one of my coworkers had used up this year’s allotment of vacation days while caring for a relative who is dying of cancer. Another employee wrote an email asking people to help by donating part of their vacation time. I contributed two days, which led me to reflect on how we get more time when we’re willing to give it.

Obviously, giving away some of my vacation days won’t magically cause my employer to add more to replace them. So what’s actually going on—in practical, real world terms—when giving attracts abundance? I would describe it as a shift in attitude, which subconsciously prompts positive action. Our perceptions of time and prosperity are mostly based on our subjective experiences, rather than on measurable facts. Often we don’t appreciate—or even notice—when we gain more.

We have more vacation days after working for the company long enough to gain some seniority, but we still feel rushed and harried because our lives have too many distractions. We have more money because of pay raises, but our expenses are higher. We have more stuff, but we’re not enjoying it because the house is full of clutter.

So abundance is mainly about breaking out of those unappreciative thought patterns that leave us feeling deprived—it’s not really about acquiring any particular amount of money, time, or stuff. We’re all familiar with stories about people who won the lottery or got a fabulous job, but ended up being just as unhappy afterward as they’d ever been. To a large extent, prosperity is a mindset rather than a quantity.

Giving—whether we choose to give money, goods, or time—is a powerful statement that we have more than we need. Hoarding, in contrast, reinforces feelings of lack and scarcity. As the old saying goes, actions speak louder than words. We can chant happy mantras all we want, but that doesn’t have much effect until we get our behavior in alignment with our affirmations.

When we feel confident that we have more than we need, the subconscious mind’s pattern-matching functions kick in to adjust our interpretations of everyday events accordingly, thus further changing our actions in a self-reinforcing positive cycle. Because giving money causes us to feel more prosperous, we’re more likely to be proactive about spending small amounts that result in larger savings—for example, buying a new setback thermostat that reduces energy costs. Giving away things we don’t need allows us to more comfortably use what we have, as well as enjoying our gifts and purchases much more when there’s no clutter in the way. And giving time leads to feeling that we have enough of it so we shouldn’t be in a rush, which in turn prompts reflection and positive action to better manage our time.

Although I won’t literally get back the two vacation days I gave away, I should certainly be able to find positive ways to avoid more than 16 hours of time-wasting by the end of the year. I’ll consider this a personal challenge!
 

Click here to read the next post in this series, Attracting Time.

When I was a kid, I was a big fan of corn on the cob. Eating it was a messy and demanding ritual—first, melt a pat of butter on top of the hot corn, carefully turning it to spread the butter evenly, without missing a spot. Then sprinkle on some salt, but not too much anywhere, too much would be yucky! Then, eat the corn, nibbling neatly along the rows of tasty kernels while pretending to be a bunny in the garden…

Not surprisingly, I got out of the habit of eating corn on the cob when I grew up. Plenty of other foods were quicker and simpler. The busy demands of adult life in the modern world didn’t mesh well with elaborate rituals and play-pretend games at the dinner table, however much fun they might have been long ago. And what was the point of just chomping one’s way through the corn without appreciating all the little details?

I bought some corn skewers a few years ago, when my daughter said she’d like to cook corn on the cob. She cooked it once, and I have no idea what became of the pair of skewers she used; they probably got thrown away with the cob. The remaining skewers, still neatly packaged, sat on a kitchen shelf until I de-cluttered it last week.
 

corn holders 

Unlike most of the clutter I’ve found, I did not throw away the corn holders. They’re still just as useful as they ever were, so I decided that because my daughter was the one who wanted them, I’m going to put them in a box of stuff for her to take when she moves out. She graduated from college in May and came home for a couple of months while studying for her licensing exam as a nurse. Soon she’ll be off again, to a new apartment and a career. Life moves on, more quickly than we realize; and clutter should, too.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!