July 26, 2015 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

I’ve had a set of metal canisters on my kitchen countertop for many years, marked Coffee, Tea, Sugar and Flour. They gave the kitchen a cheery old-fashioned look, although I never really used them for coffee or tea. I leave teabags in the box they came in, and K-cups go on a carousel. The coffee and tea canisters have white rice and brown rice in them, respectively. I do have sugar and flour, but I haven’t done any baking in a long time because I’ve been cutting down on sugar to stay healthy.
 

Set of four old metal canisters labeled Coffee, Tea, Sugar, and Flour. 

So I asked myself, why do I still have them? I really just need containers for rice. New boxes or jars for rice would make a lot more sense, while fitting easily into a cabinet too. The canisters are not much use for decoration anymore, now that they are full of dings and the lids are turning green. It’s definitely time to let them go, and reclaim my counter space!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

An investment advisor that offers its services through my employer’s tax-deferred savings plan tried to drum up more business recently by sending employees a retirement evaluation. Mine had a cutesy red-light graphic and criticized my investment choices as too aggressive for someone my age. Having more stocks rather than bonds apparently means that I can’t be confident of turning into a pumpkin at the stroke of midnight upon reaching the magic age, or something of that sort.
 

Pumpkin with carved face and skeptical expression.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

At the risk of branding myself a modern-day heretic, I’ve never had any desire to create either a bucket list or a retirement activities list because no matter what I might put on such a list, I can’t see myself staying interested in it forever. I contribute regularly to the investment plan because it’s always good to have savings, no matter what I might decide to do with them, and because the company match is free money. But I never could make sense of the cultural expectations that every responsible adult should work like a beast of burden for several decades, with the goal of never working again, and that everybody’s life should be fully planned out.

Of course, some folks are indeed happily retired and enjoying the activities on their list. If that’s you, well then—more power to you! But all too often, people retire just because they were told it’s what everyone should want, and then they have no idea what to do with themselves. Maybe they thought they’d enjoy something, but then it ends up not being as much fun as they imagined. It’s a sad fact that depression and suicide rates spike among the newly retired. Shifting gears all of a sudden and leaving behind a busy career can result in feeling lost and adrift, with no meaningful purpose or identity.

Instead of making conventional plans for retirement, Millennials tend to prefer the “financial freedom” approach of keeping their expenses low while they’re young, so that they can build up hefty savings and change jobs or start businesses whenever they feel like it. Buying a house is not the major accomplishment that it was for past generations, but is an expensive burden to be avoided. This works great for people who enjoy frequent travel and the challenge of becoming acclimated to new environments, as well as for minimalists who are not emotionally attached to their stuff.

I would describe myself as somewhere in the middle. I like the comfort and stability of owning a house and keeping a job for a longer period, but I also value new experiences and flexibility. I wouldn’t want a lifestyle of constant travel, but it might be fun to live and work in another country for a year or two. At some point I’ll want to build a new house (I sketched out a floor plan for fun last month). With so many career possibilities in the modern world, it seems likely I’ll develop other work-related interests.

So, what’s my best approach to finances? Never doing any work again is not my goal, and I can reasonably expect to be around for another half-century because of a family history of longevity, so all those computer models based on actuarial tables are not much use to me. Freedom to pursue any interests I may develop is a much more appealing prospect, but how can I put a number value on choices I haven’t yet made?

I suppose finances are like anything else—moderation and incremental changes generally tend to work best, while making course corrections as the need arises.

I have three large hostas in my front garden. A neighbor gave them to me long ago, when she discovered that she had bought a few more than she needed. Three years ago, I posted a blog entry called Room to Grow, about moving the hostas when they grew larger than I had anticipated. Life is full of assumptions that need revising, I wrote, and such tasks are best done promptly.
 

Three large hostas in bloom. 

The plants have been thriving in their new location. All they needed was a little more space! Often that’s true in our own lives, too. When we feel stuck and frustrated, maybe we shouldn’t just try to get used to the annoying situation. Instead, we might do better to move things around and give ourselves more space to keep on growing!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

July 19, 2015 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Sorry about the title, but this week’s topic left me wanting to make silly frog noises! When my son was in high school, he made a ceramic frog for me to put in the garden. I must confess, I didn’t take proper care of it but left it outside when the weather turned cold, and it froze and cracked apart in all the places where it had been glued. Then I gathered up the pieces and put them in a shoebox, as I didn’t want to throw away a nice handmade gift. My son said that he would put it back together, but then he went off to college, and the shoebox sat in the basement for years.
 

Pieces of a yellow ceramic frog in a shoebox along with a rock for its base. 

While cleaning things up, I asked my son if he still wanted to glue the frog back together. He said yes, he’d get around to it sometime. So I gave him the shoebox. If he does indeed reassemble the frog, I’ll be more careful and find a good safe place for it indoors! And if not, well, at least I won’t have a dusty old shoebox taking up space in the basement anymore.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

We all have days when we feel stuck, like there’s nothing to be done with a problem. It feels like we got hold of a box that is shut tight, and no matter how hard we yank on the lid, it’s never going to lift up. But maybe that just means the box needs to be opened a different way.
 

Oval wooden jewelry box with five rotating vertical drawers, partly open. 

Sometimes we simply need to take a little time and consider the situation from other perspectives, asking “What else is here?” That’s when we discover much more is unfolding than we first imagined, and lots of unexpected treasures were right there all along!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

July 14, 2015 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags: , ,

Several years ago, I spent a lot of time doing charitable organizing work. I accomplished what I set out to do, but it got stressful at times because it was an ambitious project with only a small number of people, and we had to deal with detractors and negativity. In a recent conversation, this question came up: Did I “win” because I reached my goals? Or did I “lose” because I felt more stressed afterward?

Goals aren’t everything—they have to be considered with a view to the big picture. Getting stressed past one’s tolerance and soldiering on anyway is neither virtuous nor sensible. On rare occasion it may be necessary; but more often, it can and should be avoided through better decision-making.

That said, it also doesn’t make sense to run away from anything that might cause stress and bad memories. We can’t reasonably expect to have all good times and no worries. Friendships and relationships go through bad patches, work sometimes gets harder than usual, and becoming a parent means not only great joy but also great responsibility.

So I wouldn’t measure either winning or losing by a simple comparison of past vs. present feelings of stress or accomplishment. Such feelings do not necessarily mean that it would (or wouldn’t) have been better to do something else. There are many other factors to consider, and the question should go something like this: How would my present-day life, and the lives of my family and others, have been different if I had made another choice?

At that point we get into the realm of alternate history, with infinite permutations. For instance, would leaving a marriage to avoid the stress and bad memories of arguments have resulted in finding someone more compatible and living happily ever after, or would it have meant many depressing years of loneliness? Who can say? No matter what might have happened, there’s no way to go back and do it over, and future events are likely to change what’s on the scorecard anyway.

What’s important to keep in mind going forward is that experience teaches valuable lessons. If one of those lessons is that a high stress level was more damaging than it seemed at the time, that’s useful to know—it means that we now understand the value of setting healthier boundaries and creating calmer and more nurturing environments for ourselves. It certainly doesn’t mean we ought to kick ourselves around for being losers! Better to look at past experiences as a win* even if they were stressful.

*That is, with a life-lessons asterisk.

Going into the warm weather, I had to admit that although a light blue summer outfit in my closet had been pretty when new (too long ago!), it had seen better days. But I thought it might get through another season, and I hadn’t yet done any shopping for new summer clothes this year, so I kept it anyway.
 

Light blue summer clothes set, with cotton shorts and a lace top layered over a tank top. 

I wore it a couple of times, getting mildly annoyed each time when I saw the frayed spots and the broken threads—and then I asked myself, what the heck was I doing? Clothes are not precious gems, they’re just ordinary consumable items! Wearing worn-out old clothes because they haven’t yet been replaced is like eating spoiled food because the grocery shopping hasn’t been done. As excuses go, that one ranks somewhere between pitiful and woeful!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last month I posted a Nurturing Thursday entry with a photo of yellow daylilies in bloom next to my house. I mentioned in the comments that I also like orange lilies, but had not planted any. Much to my surprise, this week I found lovely orange lilies blooming in a gap in my neighbors’ hedge (shown in this post) where the deer trampled down the bushes long ago.
 

Orange daylilies blooming in a gap in a hedge. 

Just gorgeous! I don’t know whether the neighbors planted the lilies recently, or maybe they were there all along and never grew enough to bloom because the deer always stepped on them. I haven’t seen any deer walking through the hedge this year, probably because construction of new homes changed their usual paths. So it looks like the hedge is finally going to grow together, with orange lilies as a bonus, yay! Sometimes when we wish for things, they really do show up.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

July 5, 2015 · 4 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Many years ago, I got a black dress with a shiny loop at the neckline, which was made of silver sequins. I have fond memories of events to which I wore the dress; but as time went by, the stitches in the loop drew up unevenly, so that with each washing it looked a bit less symmetrical. As much as I fussed with it and tugged it into place, it never looked or felt quite right anymore.
 

Black dress with silver sequin loop at neckline. 

Then I realized that because the dress no longer made me happy, the time had come to send it on its way, even if it was still wearable. We have so many choices and possibilities open to us in the modern world, but only a few of them can fit into our available space and time—so we have to choose wisely and make changes that give us more joy!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last week I got tagged by Jessica Edouard at Send Sunshine with the First Post Challenge, the rules of which are below:

– Copy-paste, link, pingback or whatever, your first post.
– State what type of post it was (e.g. introduction, story, poem).
– Explain why that was your first post.
– Nominate five other bloggers.

My first post, an introduction, is here, and I wrote it for the usual reason of telling readers a little about myself and my blog. Because that’s not much of a challenge response, I decided to put it together with a Nurturing Thursday entry about first efforts.

Birds sitting on a wire.

This photo of birds sitting on a wire was my first header image. I came across it while browsing Creative Commons images and liked its fun, cheerful, social vibes. After that I changed the header several times before settling on the current picture of sailboats in Sydney Harbour. Now that my blog is in its fourth year, its content also has evolved. In addition to the original theme of “stories and musings on modern life,” I regularly write entries about nurturing, positivity, and clearing away clutter both physical and mental.

As with any “first,” I couldn’t foresee just where the blog would go when I posted my first entry, but I jumped in to enjoy the adventure anyway! I’m very glad that last year I discovered the Nurturing Thursday group, whose posts always help to put me in a cheerful mood. To return the favor, I’m tagging five of the group’s members for the challenge. Have fun!

Ladyleemanila
Grace Notes
mazeepuran
Woman of Art and Mind
Inside the Mind of Isadora

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.