July 5, 2015 · 4 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Many years ago, I got a black dress with a shiny loop at the neckline, which was made of silver sequins. I have fond memories of events to which I wore the dress; but as time went by, the stitches in the loop drew up unevenly, so that with each washing it looked a bit less symmetrical. As much as I fussed with it and tugged it into place, it never looked or felt quite right anymore.
 

Black dress with silver sequin loop at neckline. 

Then I realized that because the dress no longer made me happy, the time had come to send it on its way, even if it was still wearable. We have so many choices and possibilities open to us in the modern world, but only a few of them can fit into our available space and time—so we have to choose wisely and make changes that give us more joy!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last week I got tagged by Jessica Edouard at Send Sunshine with the First Post Challenge, the rules of which are below:

– Copy-paste, link, pingback or whatever, your first post.
– State what type of post it was (e.g. introduction, story, poem).
– Explain why that was your first post.
– Nominate five other bloggers.

My first post, an introduction, is here, and I wrote it for the usual reason of telling readers a little about myself and my blog. Because that’s not much of a challenge response, I decided to put it together with a Nurturing Thursday entry about first efforts.

Birds sitting on a wire.

This photo of birds sitting on a wire was my first header image. I came across it while browsing Creative Commons images and liked its fun, cheerful, social vibes. After that I changed the header several times before settling on the current picture of sailboats in Sydney Harbour. Now that my blog is in its fourth year, its content also has evolved. In addition to the original theme of “stories and musings on modern life,” I regularly write entries about nurturing, positivity, and clearing away clutter both physical and mental.

As with any “first,” I couldn’t foresee just where the blog would go when I posted my first entry, but I jumped in to enjoy the adventure anyway! I’m very glad that last year I discovered the Nurturing Thursday group, whose posts always help to put me in a cheerful mood. To return the favor, I’m tagging five of the group’s members for the challenge. Have fun!

Ladyleemanila
Grace Notes
mazeepuran
Woman of Art and Mind
Inside the Mind of Isadora

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I didn’t get around to writing a Clutter Comedy blog entry last weekend, though I had good intentions. There was some disruption to my schedule, and also my husband upgraded our home computers from 32-bit to 64-bit Windows 7, which he said took a long time because it should have been done sooner. When tasks are left to wait longer than they should, there’s usually more work as a consequence. With software, there are more upgrades to install.

This is not even the final task; it’s all just preparatory to installing Windows 10 later this year, which will require buying more memory because operating systems have gotten enormous. That’s the way of things in the modern world—technology has given us much more capability, but keeping up with all its changes can feel like running frantically on a hamster wheel.

During my mostly unplugged weekend, I started thinking about how there’s not much difference between upgrading our gadgets and refurbishing our minds. If we let too many bad habits, outdated assumptions, and other mental junk pile up, then it’s harder to clear that stuff away than if we had done timely maintenance all along. Same thing with clutter in the house and weeds in the garden—there’s always something in need of attention that wasn’t a problem when we last looked.
 

Big leafy green weed between orange and yellow snapdragons. 

I have no idea how a weed resembling a small tree got into my snapdragons, when I’m sure it can’t have been more than a couple of weeks since I last did something in that garden…

Of course, our ancestors also had to do plenty of weeding and other chores, without benefit of today’s labor-saving devices. Their work couldn’t be neglected because if too many weeds got into the fields and choked out the crops, they might starve over the winter. Still, their lives were much simpler and more structured than ours, so they didn’t feel overwhelmed by the pressure of having to keep up with thousands of different things all at once.

We don’t really have to juggle huge heaps of tasks either—it just feels like we do, sometimes, because we haven’t yet settled into comfortable routines for such a fast-paced world. There are plenty of computer programs and smartphone apps to keep track of the little things. For example, my husband has a reminder in his Outlook calendar to run the self-cleaning cycle on the oven every four months, which was easy to do last weekend when it was cool enough that opening the windows was comfortable. Way easier than our ancestors had it, cooking over a hearth where they had to bring wood and sweep out the ashes every day. Their tasks rarely changed, though, so they didn’t have the stress of keeping up with to-do lists.

Our world has left behind the familiar customs and simple chores that once allowed people to go through their days without much need for conscious decision-making. We have many more choices now, and that means we need to manage and upgrade our choices proactively, so they don’t overwhelm us. It’s not just about getting used to new gadgets, either; the culture is changing rapidly around us, which means our assumptions are constantly being challenged. Sometimes everything feels like a leap into the unknown.

I am optimistic that as time passes, our society will develop more effective ways to help people navigate its complexity. The concept of supported decision-making refers to informal arrangements that assist people with disabilities in making choices. As I see it, people in general could benefit from having more structure and support in their lives. It’s not that modern humans are any less competent than our ancestors; we just live in a much busier world.

Somewhere deep inside our minds there’s a door to a place we don’t want to see, overflowing with heaps of scary old emotional baggage that we haven’t managed to clear away. We wish we could forget all about it, and most of the time we do; but when a present-day experience triggers those bad memories, the door swings wide open, no matter how many bars and screens we might believe we’ve put across it.
 

Scary-looking door set into crumbling concrete with rusty bars and a screen covering it.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

What’s to be done about that door? More bars won’t solve the problem. Plant some nice pretty mental landscaping in front of it and make it less noticeable? Well, that might help a little; but really, it needs the same treatment as a real-life cluttered room full of ugly, rusty junk. Rather than trying to leave the door closed forever, we just need to roll up our sleeves and march confidently in there with a box of garbage bags, a bucket of hot soapy water, and a mop.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

My daughter’s dog (a.k.a. our household’s resident diva) has been living here almost a year, and never would sleep in the first dog bed we bought. When she was a puppy, she took the cushion off the rocking chair (shown in this post) and decided it would be her bed. That worked out all right because we already had two of those cushions; but then she discovered that she could chew a hole in it and pull out the stuffing—way too much fun for a little puppy to resist! After the shreds of the cushion went bye-bye, she still wouldn’t sleep in her bed, as she much preferred to lie down outside my daughter’s bedroom door at night and make sad noises to try and get herself let in.

My daughter soon had enough of that (as did we all!) and bought another dog bed in the style of a large rectangular cushion to put outside her bedroom door. The new bed was sturdy enough that it didn’t suffer the same fate as the original cushion, and Diva Dog was happy enough with it that she stopped the nightly tragic-opera performances. But that left the old bed, as always, just sitting empty.
 

Brown oval bed for a small dog, on white carpet. 

Diva Dog uses it occasionally as a hiding place for her rawhide bones and other prized possessions; but really it’s just clutter, and needs to be given away. I expect my daughter will move into her own place in a few months, once she finds a good rental house or apartment, taking both the dog and the preferred bed along. Even though we’ll probably end up doing some amount of dog-sitting here, there’s no sense keeping a bed that the dog refuses to sleep in!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

When we talk about owning our lives, often it’s in the context of taking responsibility for our hard choices and our mistakes. We own our problems; we own up to things. That’s what we should do, of course; but perhaps out of modesty, we tend not to claim as much ownership of our successes and our joyful moments. And I’m wondering if that reluctance to own our good fortune might skew our perspective toward seeing life as made up largely of hard choices.

That’s not to say we ought to brag at great length about our successes, but a little more balance would be helpful. Even our common word choices such as “good fortune” suggest that when things go well in our lives, it is all just luck, and we had very little to do with how it turned out. When we make gratitude lists or otherwise remind ourselves to appreciate our blessings, it’s all about passively receiving gifts, rather than asserting ownership. God made the sunshine, we didn’t. Well, okay, fair enough—but what about our choice to enjoy the sunshine rather than complain it’s too hot? Don’t we own that?

Because we filter all of our experiences through the stories we tell ourselves to explain them, we do in fact own everything that happens in our lives, even the stuff that seems completely random at the time. We choose what part each person and event plays, how significant they are to the plot, and how much emotional weight we give them.

Often we don’t consciously realize that we have so much control over our internal narratives because they are drawn, in large part, from the common stories of our culture. Unless we actively cultivate the habit of considering how we frame our experiences in our minds, we may not even realize that other perspectives are open to us, and then we never reach the point of choosing one story over another.

It’s not always easy to reframe past experiences in more positive terms, especially when many years have gone by and we’ve put large amounts of mental energy into those old familiar complaints, such that our thoughts automatically slide along them like wheels on a well-greased track. But there are always multiple ways of looking at every situation, and taking responsibility for owning our lives means taking the time to consider and wisely choose among our options.

I posted a photo of daylily plants under my gas meter for a Nurturing Thursday entry in April and mentioned in the comments that I would take another picture when they were in bloom. They’re looking good today, and it’s bright and sunny after almost an entire day of rain yesterday, which has made the grass look nice and green too! Here’s the new photo:
 

Yellow daylilies blooming under my gas meter. 

Because the plants are thick and healthy, they haven’t needed much weeding this year. That’s also what happens with our own lives when we root out all those prickly mental weeds of negativity, fear, and bad habits—we’re healthier and have more energy for blooming, and there is no space for weeds to grow back!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

How do you know when something is clutter? Well, a pretty reliable indicator is that whenever you see it, you start thinking, “Why is this still here?” If that question has no good answer, then it’s clutter for sure!

I have a stack of old towels that I occasionally use; and somehow, a child’s beach towel with Barney the purple dinosaur ended up at the bottom of the stack. Every time I used enough towels to get down to that one, I wondered why I hadn’t gotten rid of it many years ago! But it always just got washed and put away with the others, out of simple inertia.
 

Child's towel with Barney the dinosaur in beach clothing. 

This year I thought I’d done a pretty good job of disposing of the “Why is this still here?” stuff. But then I saw the Barney towel again! It went straight in a bag for the thrift store. Barney and his toddler audience may be a happy family, but I’m sure my own (grown-up) family would be much happier with something else!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

My husband has a very good sense of how mechanical things fit together. That is not one of my strong points, though; and he often tells me “Don’t force it.” We have a spigot on the east side of the house that got stripped because I turned the knob too far a few years ago, and now it has to be turned off very carefully. We haven’t replaced it because the pipe is in a place that is hard to access from inside the house. So, when I hook up a lawn sprinkler to it, I generally leave putting away the hose and sprinkler to my husband.
 

Spigot set into red bricks on the side of my house. 

Not forcing things is useful advice in many other contexts, too. I’ve always had what I would consider a good amount of persistence. When I commit to a task, chances are I’ll get it done. When it comes to patience, though, I have to admit there’s room for improvement. I recently had a conversation on another blog about how we try to cram everything we want into the now, rather than letting things take their natural course, which leads to constant feelings of pressure that actually make it harder to get what we want. We’d all do much better not to force it!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

June 7, 2015 · 4 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

My kitchen counter has a small desk area with a drawer, which I always kept reasonably tidy, not letting it degenerate into junk-drawer infamy. I kept a road atlas at the back and a few small notepads and pens at the front. The road atlas has been obsolete for a long time because we get directions from OnStar when we go on road trips, instead of using paper maps. I was wondering just how old it was; and when I opened the drawer to check, I discovered that a lot of other stuff had been put in there when I wasn’t looking.
 

Desk drawer under kitchen counter, full of random stuff. 

Among other random things, the drawer now contains a set of paintbrushes, some paper-edging shears, a Bible, and a book of crossword puzzles. While it’s good that my daughter has been exercising her creativity and reading Scripture, and there doesn’t appear to be much in the drawer that would qualify as actual junk, I have to say more careful attention to organization would be appreciated!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!