Today I commented on a blog entry about the complexity of negative thoughts, as contrasted with the simplicity of feeling good. Negative self-talk can easily get out of control and spiral into persistent nasty thought loops; but when life is going well, people often don’t have much to say about it. In my comment, I suggested a writing exercise for the blog author—imagine that a problem she worries about has gone away, and write at least 750 words about how good everything feels now.

Then it occurred to me that I could benefit from the same exercise, as I’d been guilty of negative self-talk about my writing earlier this week. I started writing a blog post on Tuesday, decided that it totally sucked, and deleted it. Then I had a different idea for a post on Wednesday, but after writing one paragraph I wasn’t sure how to continue, so I saved it for another day. Meanwhile, I had another topic rattling around in my head, but never got started on it.

Of course, I know that’s just the way everyone’s writing goes sometimes, and there is no point in worrying about it. Still, I have to admit that I felt frustrated this week even though I knew better. So I decided that instead of just telling another blogger how to focus her energy on positive thoughts, it was only fair that I should take my own advice and compose a 750-word essay on the subject of feeling good about my writing. As the old saying goes, “what’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.”
 

Mated pair of Canada geese in green water.

(photo credit: publicdomainpictures.net)
 

A GREAT DAY: Today was a great day for blogging. I had lots of creative energy. When I sat down to write this post, the words all flowed easily and organized themselves neatly into paragraphs, with very little effort. Finding an illustration for the post was quick and easy, too. It only took a moment to decide that a photo of geese would look good before this paragraph, and I found an image right away when I searched for one.

I felt comfortable taking a break from my writing because I knew that there was no need to hurry. I had complete confidence that after getting up and walking around, I’d still be able to finish the post just as easily when I got back to it. I did not give any thought to how much time had passed. Nothing else needed my attention in the moment; there would be plenty of time for the to-dos and chores later. A holiday clock chimed a happy Christmas song, and I felt cheerful.

When I imagined other bloggers reading my post and gaining more confidence in their own writing, I felt strong and inspired. I was secure in the certainty that I have the personal power to bring about change in the world, and that I have gained some understanding of how to use that power responsibly. Although I make mistakes just like everyone else, I know that I generally can correct them before they turn into anything major, as long as I take the time to reflect on my actions and consider their potential effects.

Before I started writing the post, while I was still in the process of getting my thoughts organized, I ran four miles on the indoor track at the Recreation Center. It was cold here today—the temperature never got above freezing—but that was okay because the only time I spent outside was to walk through the parking lot. Getting exercise is much easier when it’s part of a regular routine, and staying fit goes a long way toward keeping up both physical and mental energy.

I ate a healthy snack of dried dates while sitting at the desk because I know that staying well-nourished makes everything that I do much easier, including my blog posts and other writing. Taking proper care of my body will help to make sure that I have both the health and the creative inspiration to keep this blog going for many years. Also, I made sure to sit up straight; after all, feeling comfortable when I type my blog entries has a lot to do with paying attention to good posture.

After looking at the monitor for a while, I closed my eyes to rest them for a few minutes and thought about the good fortune of living in modern times. I felt grateful for the technology that allows me to share my writing so easily with friends across the world, while visiting other blogs and gaining insight into many diverse perspectives. I appreciated how wonderful it is to have a blog where I can enjoy social visits, get my thoughts better organized, improve both my writing skills and my understanding of life in general, and just have some good creative fun!

Not being perfect, I did notice the occasional self-doubting thought creeping into my head when I got closer to the end of this post, along the lines of whether I’d be able to get it all finished today or whether I might be running out of steam. But then I told myself that it really didn’t matter what day I got finished—the point of this exercise was simply to feel good about my writing, and that shouldn’t have anything to do with the day when a particular entry might happen to get posted.

I believe it’s fair to say that I accomplished what I set out to do—that is, collecting my good feelings about blogging in this entry to demonstrate (mainly to myself) that these good feelings have plenty of weight and complexity. Whatever worries I might have about finishing my entries promptly and staying on a regular posting schedule are insignificant by comparison. I’m pretty sure that my readers are not overly critical on the subject, nor are they likely to be.

Even though it may sometimes seem as if negative feelings are more powerful and complex than good feelings, that’s not necessarily true. It all comes down to the question of where we choose to focus our thoughts in the here and now.

One of my first Nurturing Thursday entries, which I posted almost two years ago, was about the benefits of having a fruit bowl on my kitchen table. I wrote that I always kept it filled with my favorite varieties of fruit as a symbol of abundance, a reminder that the kitchen table is not a junk shelf, and a prompt for healthy eating.

This year I’m still using the fruit bowl, but I have realized that it’s much healthier to eat a wide variety of foods instead of always buying the same ones, so I’ve made a point of switching things up. At present, the fruit bowl contains Asian pears and large mandarin oranges.
 

Glass fruit bowl with large mandarin oranges and Asian pears. 

Making small changes to our routines is healthier not only with food, but also with life in general. It’s all too easy to get stuck in a rut, always doing the same old stuff out of inertia or because it seems more comfortable. And then, before we know it, our creative energies have gotten malnourished. Although it’s perfectly natural to have favorites—both in what we eat and what we do—it’s also important to make sure we get plenty of variety!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

When my daughter was a teenager, she bought a comfy plush chair with a sparkly blue fabric. For a while, it was her favorite place to sit and read novels; but then she went away to college, and it didn’t get much use. Later it ended up in the basement, in a corner of the home theater, so that she could fit more friends in there to watch a movie when she came home.
 

Old blue chair in corner of home theater next to black leather sofa. 

It’s not as plush as it once was, or as bright and sparkly; and it definitely wouldn’t fit the color scheme of the home theater even if it still had the original blue, rather than being faded and dusty. I’ve been meaning to buy some new folding chairs anyway. Even if it was pretty once upon a time, my daughter’s old blue chair has long since outlived its usefulness.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

This week it has been fairly warm for December here, but there have been a lot of dark, damp, foggy days to go along with the warm temperatures. Like many people, I sometimes have a hard time staying cheerful and energetic in the depths of winter when it seems the sky is always dark. Christmas lights, candles, and other bright decorations help, as long as I consciously notice them rather than just going about my usual routine.
 

Word-art with hanging lightbulbs that says "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." -Dumbledore 

There are so many beautiful things available to us in modern times to brighten our days—what’s needed is the mindful appreciation to enjoy them as part of our daily lives!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I read a few blog articles last year about the subconscious emotional stories we tell ourselves regarding money, which can affect our choices and finances in the present even though they generally come from long-ago childhood experiences. That made sense to me; but when I first thought about it, I couldn’t identify any such stories that might have gotten stuck in my head.

My finances seemed okay—both my husband and I had fairly good jobs, which we had been able to keep through the recession, and a nice house. The only issue was that we had spent a lot on our kids’ tuition, room and board, etc., while they were away at college, and before that we had sent them to Catholic schools. As a result, there never had seemed to be quite enough money left over for me to feel comfortable spending it on clothes or other fun shopping for myself.

So I asked myself, what kind of story from my childhood would fit that pattern? The houses where I lived as a child were all good places, with plenty of space for me to run around and play. My parents were divorced in the ’70s, and after that I lived with my mother and stepfather. I often wore hand-me-down clothes from a cousin when I was little, without thinking much about it at the time.

The internal narratives that we rely on to make sense of the world are drawn in large part from archetypes—that is, familiar characters representing various aspects of the culture. When I thought about what character might have taken up residence in my head, Cinderella came to mind. Although Cinderella lives in a nice house, she is a stepchild who doesn’t have much that she can call her own, and the money always gets spent on other family members.
 

Girl dressed as Cinderella in old-fashioned clothing with a pumpkin.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

Whether or not there had been any reasonable basis for such feelings when I was a child, they certainly didn’t need to be part of my life now, especially after my kids had graduated from college. So I decided to have a little chat with my inner Cinderella and explain a few things to her.

I found her playing with a rag doll family she had made to console herself for being left at home, with the village hag as the babysitter, while her stepsisters enjoyed a lavish trip to France. Sitting down on the rug in front of the fireplace with her, I said, “You know what, Cinderella, it’s time for you to grow up and find a place of your own.”

Dropping the dolls, she stared at me fearfully, no doubt imagining herself cast out to be eaten by the hungry wolves of the forest. After all, she wasn’t the Disney Princess version of the character, but instead came out of the old-fashioned books of fairy tales that I had read before modern revisions took out the gruesome and violent stuff.

“Don’t worry, I’ve found a good place for you to live,” I quickly reassured the poor frightened girl. “There is an abandoned village called Channelwood on an island that’s no longer inhabited. It has lots of pretty houses built high in the treetops, safe from wild animals; and you can gather fruit and vegetables from the village’s old overgrown gardens, catch fish and dig clams. All yours, with nobody around to take it from you or bully you, and a lovely ocean view to give you more perspective on the world. I’ll even send you off with a suitcase full of brand-new clothes for the trip. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

She gave me a hesitant half-smile. “But how…”

“Oh, it’s easy to get there!” I told her cheerfully. “I’ve already made arrangements with the captain of a cargo ship that sails past the island regularly. I know him well—he often carries away my shipments of emotional baggage and my consignments of mental clutter. You’ll be in good hands. And there’s no need to worry about getting lonely; I’ll send you a few nice playmates after a while, as soon as I discover where they have been playing hide-and-seek in my psyche.”

The fire crackled loudly, sending up bright sparks. Cinderella stood up, straightened her ankle-length skirts, and began putting on her big wooden shoes. She still looked just a bit worried as she asked, “Please, may I bring my pet mouse?”

“Yes, of course you may. I wouldn’t dream of leaving him behind.”

Long ago, my mom gave me a cheerful ceramic bear holding an artificial rose, with the words “I Love You” across its chest. I had it in my kitchen display cabinet (shown here) for a while, but then the rose started to decay and it didn’t look as good. I didn’t want to throw the bear away because it was a nice gift full of positive emotional energy, so I put it on top of a box in the basement.
 

Ceramic bear with "I Love You" on its chest, holding a decayed fake flower. 

I noticed it again while tidying the basement recently. The cardboard box lid was strewn with little bits of fake rose that had fallen off. This time, the energy was more along the lines of “poor forlorn little piece of junk.” So, the bear just had to go. Sorry, Mom.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last year my houseplants got infested with gnats. I tried repotting the plants, but there were so many gnats flying around the house that they soon colonized the new potting soil. My husband tried setting out cups of apple cider vinegar to trap the gnats, which didn’t do anything other than make the house smell like vinegar. What finally got rid of the gnats was covering the potting soil with a few inches of sand. The plants are thriving now, the annoying gnats are totally gone, and as a bonus I don’t need to water as often because the sand cover keeps the moisture in the soil longer.
 

Healthy pothos plant in a black pot. 

Often that’s the way of things—a problem starts with something tiny and grows to seem hugely annoying, which leads to making the situation worse by putting time and effort into bothersome fixes that don’t work, but all we really need to do is to spread just a little sand over our worries!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

Tomorrow my daughter starts her new job in Cleveland. She came home for a year and a half after graduating from college, while she got some work experience and saved up money toward getting ready to move out. We did not charge her any rent, but she tried to help out by doing some grocery shopping. She tends toward impulse buying, though, and my freezer is now full of random stuff that never got eaten.
 

Freezer drawers crammed full. 

I think it’s very unlikely she would want the ancient Fla-Vor-Ice that’s buried under one of those heaps, and I am sure she has totally forgotten about most of what she put in the freezer. Still, just to be polite, before she gets on the road this afternoon I’ll ask if she wants to take any of that stuff with her. I expect most of it will be on the curb tomorrow evening for Tuesday’s trash pickup, though.

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

I had a quiet Wednesday at home because I took vacation before Thanksgiving, while my husband had to go to work. My daughter was back from Cleveland, but she took the dog to the groomer’s and had lunch with a friend. Then, instead of peaceful thoughts, my mind started filling up with “shoulds” — today I have plenty of free time, so I should work on a story project, write my Nurturing Thursday post in advance, do some Christmas shopping online, clean the bathroom mirrors…

But the early afternoon sun coming in my back windows felt so nice and comfortable, I just closed my eyes for a moment and listened to the silence. The mental clutter drifted away like dandelion fluff on the wind. I went out to the backyard, took a deep breath of fresh air that felt pleasantly mild for late November, and noticed that a few pink snapdragons were still blooming.
 

Pink snapdragons still blooming in late November. 

I took a photo and uploaded it to my blog for a draft post; but rather than trying to hurry, I deliberately left the post half-finished and allowed myself to enjoy having an afternoon and evening with nothing much to do. After my family ran the Turkey Trot this morning, I lazed around the house for a while before sitting down to write the rest of this entry. I’m feeling much refreshed now, and wishing a happy and stress-free Thanksgiving to all my readers!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

November 24, 2015 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Last night I dreamed that I went on a road trip with my husband. We had to cross a bridge that was so high it reached up into the clouds. Once we got up there, we couldn’t see anything at all besides the thick fog—no lane markers, no other cars.
 

Cars crossing a bridge on a foggy day.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)
 

Then all of a sudden we went over the side of the bridge and started falling! At first I panicked, but then I thought, “Hey, wait a minute, this has to be a dream because bridges have guardrails.” After that I woke up, found myself in my own cozy bed, and all was well.

So—maybe my subconscious mind was telling me not to worry about the unknown future because it’s not really as scary as it might look. No matter where I go, there will always be guardrails keeping me safe, whether or not I can see them.