To slow down my life and take away those rushed feelings, I’ve been meditating on empty black space, peaceful breath, nothing to do, and nothing that needs to be done. That isn’t quite as easy as it sounds, what with the frantic pace of modern life. This week I feel like I’m doing better, though—enjoying the slow march of the seasons, letting time pass as it will.

Word-art that says, "Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn." -Elizabeth Lawrence

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Although I enjoy traveling to rowing regattas, sitting in the car on long road trips can leave my rump feeling squashed and the backs of my thighs a bit sore. Stretching exercises help, but they don’t always get me fully back to normal. Last week I made sure to do some stretching and foam rolling, only to have some lingering aches anyway.

One night when I got into bed, I remembered a time, five or six years ago, when I had persistent achy feelings in my upper arms. That went away a long time ago, but I found myself randomly wondering if old worries had somehow gotten lodged in there, weighing me down and generally making it harder for my body to maintain and repair itself. If so, maybe they needed to be gotten out somehow.

Then it occurred to me that my imaginary archetypal self-appointed bodyguard, Dame Shadow, had a history of using annoying aches and pains to get my attention. She hadn’t been around much lately, but that did not necessarily mean she wasn’t a suspect.

The Dame’s long skirts rustled as she sat down on the corner of my bed. “You know what, you’re asking the wrong question again,” she informed me.

I blinked at her silhouette in the darkened room, feeling confused. “Well, I didn’t think I had asked one.”

“What you could do to get those old worries out,” she clarified. “Haven’t you realized by now that there’s no need to wrestle with a heavy load of emotional baggage? You simply need to fill the space with something new, leaving whatever’s bothering you to fall away by itself.”

I heard the click of a large metal clasp as she opened a capacious handbag. “We’ll start with a tasty slice of apple crumb pie. Imagine how delicious it looks.”

Photo of apple crumb pie.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)

She reached into the bag as if taking something out, and then she touched my upper left arm. Warmth spread through it, and a delicious apple pie aroma filled the room. Repeating that performance with my right arm, the Dame said, “Here’s a custard-filled donut sprinkled with powdered sugar.”

Continuing to touch one arm and then the other, she told me, “Cherry turnovers just out of the oven. Chocolate lava cake with whipped cream and red raspberries on top. It’s October, so we can’t forget the pumpkin spice cupcakes with leaf-shaped sprinkles. And last, but not least, a fortune cookie, as a reminder that the future holds many exciting discoveries.”

By now, my bedroom was full of wonderful bakery smells. The Dame closed her bag and declared cheerfully, “There’s no room at the inn for old worries!”

Another weekend of traveling to a regatta with my husband and my rowing partner Deb, who rode along with us in our SUV while we towed the boat trailer. Deb and I had a good race in the double, finishing second to our friendly rivals Maria and Mindy. They are faster, but we are improving, and we stayed very close to their pace and were happy with our performance.

The fall foliage along the highways was lovely. I particularly enjoyed going through areas where the hillsides had been dynamited years ago for highway construction. They used to be just rocky ledges, but now trees have grown up through the rocks, and the ledges are starting to break down into ordinary soil. The October colors were beautiful, and it was reassuring to see how well nature can recover from human meddling.

Word-art that says, "I'm so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers." -L.M. Montgomery

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

I had my annual eye checkup on Tuesday, early in the afternoon, and took a half-day off from work because it takes a while for my eyes to go back to normal after getting the drops to dilate them. The weather was lovely—sunny and warm, with almost no wind. My husband took a break from his work so that we could go rowing after I came home.

Because my eyes were still sensitive to light after being dilated for the exam, I was wearing black plastic over my glasses, but I enjoyed getting outdoors on such a perfect day anyway. We rowed the double, with my husband in the bow doing all the steering. I had nothing to do but row, while breathing the fresh air and letting all the everyday worries fall away.

Word-art that says, "She took a deep breath and let go of the would've, should've, could've that had been weighing her down. She smiled at how light she felt without them."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

I meant to post another installment of the “Lost in Time” story yesterday or this morning, but I got busy with other things and did not finish it. Then I thought maybe I’d get to it after my workday, but after I did the rowing intervals that were on my exercise plan and took a shower, it was already late enough that it was time to cook dinner—and the garbage is still waiting for me to take it out.

Of course, being busy or not is a choice, as is setting one’s priorities. Rather than feeling deprived of time and stuck on a never-ending treadmill, it’s better to find constructive ways to change the narrative.

Word-art that says, "People too often forget that we have a choice in how we want to spend the rest of our life." -Rachel Wolchin

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

I got my mind stuck in a less than optimal place this afternoon, while taking a break from my work to get some exercise on the rowing machine in the basement. Some “what’s the point anyway” thoughts started getting to me. Most of the time, I can ignore that stuff pretty well because I know that the point is to be stronger, healthier, longer-lived, and generally better able to explore the future and see what kinds of interesting adventures happen. So, usually I’m not inclined to give up. But today, I felt like it would be helpful to give myself a reminder by posting this image for my Nurturing Thursday entry.

Word-art that says, "I want to see what happens if I don't give up."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

September 22, 2022 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags:

The willow cutting that I planted this spring, as previously shown here, is still alive and healthy. The stump from the willow that it replaced, which died last year, already had rotted enough by last weekend to come up easily when I tugged on it. Now I just need to spread more mulch to cover the base of that stump, and the replacement willow should look pretty good next year.

Photo of a willow sapling next to the rotted base of a stump.

There seems to be a lesson in all of this for me. When the willows started dying back because of climate change a few years ago, I felt gloomy about it, like all my efforts to keep them alive were useless and I would be stuck with a backyard full of ugly stumps forever, or I’d have to pay some huge amount to hire a landscaping company to dig them out and totally replant everything.

But of course, that wasn’t true. No matter how bad things may look in the moment—whether in the natural world or in life more generally—there’s often going to be space for improvement after allowing some time for the unwanted stuff to rot away.

This week I’ve been looking for a few quiet moments during the day, here and there, to just relax and do nothing. It’s intended as an antidote to the modern habit of scurrying busily from one task to another, which doesn’t actually save time because getting overscheduled and stressed makes people less efficient.

Habits can be useful when we cultivate them for a purpose, such as staying fit by exercising every day. More often, though, habits tend to be mindless; we fall into them rather than choosing them. Life can feel much more peaceful when we take a little time to reflect on where we want to be.

Word-art that says, "Live life less out of habit and more out of intent."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

My husband and I went to Chicago over the weekend for a half-marathon row. Although we’ve done half-marathon road races before, this was our first time rowing that distance. With younger and faster competition, we were mainly just sightseeing rather than contending, but rowing through downtown Chicago was a sight well worth seeing. Here’s a photo that I found online, taken a few years ago:

Chicago Marathon and Half-Marathon

(Photo credit: vxla)

I lost count of the bridges we rowed under—there were so many. At first the weather was pleasantly cool, but then a rainstorm blew in, and we still had a long way to go. The boat had a lot of water sloshing around in it by the time we got back to the dock. Other than a few blisters on my hands and a sore rear end from sitting in the boat for so long, I was no worse for the wear. After changing into dry clothes and getting coffee and a bagel, I felt pretty good.

We could’ve done without the adventures of Chicago traffic on the way home, though. There was one tollbooth that took almost half an hour to get through because some drivers didn’t feel like waiting in four clearly marked lanes, so instead they formed five lanes and jockeyed for position while rolling down windows and yelling at each other. We noticed a car with the license plate “PRVRBS29,” which definitely suited the circumstances.

Because of the tollbooth delay, we got stuck driving in the rainstorm most of the way home, rather than being out in front of it. That was okay, though, because we got ahead of the storm enough so that we had time to stop at our club’s boathouse, take the boat off the SUV’s roof, and wash it and put it away before the rain caught up with us again, just before we got back to our house.

I bought a birthday card for my mom at the supermarket where I usually shop. While I was taking my groceries to the checkout, a ridiculous worry popped into my head—what if the same card had been on the shelf years ago, and I’d bought it again without noticing that it was the same?

Of course, that is not likely ever to happen, and I don’t expect my mom would be annoyed even if it did. So, I just reminded myself that forgetting about cards and gifts would be a better way to go through life than keeping score of who gave what.

Word-art that says, "Always give without remembering and always receive without forgetting."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”