April 26, 2022 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

I went for a walk on Sunday along a path in the woods. It was a beautiful sunny day, with birds singing in their nests and flowering trees coming into bloom. Going around a bend in the path, I saw a bench and decided to sit down for a few minutes and drink some water.

Then I noticed that there were words painted on the bench, but I was too far away to read them. My first thought was that some annoying person must have spray-painted a rude message. Definitely not what I wanted to see when I had been enjoying a nice relaxing walk!

When I got closer, I discovered that the words said “BE KIND” in neat white lettering.

Photo of a park bench with BE KIND painted on it.

That was a very nice surprise indeed. It left me feeling more hopeful about the world, and it gave me two useful reminders, not just one: Be kind, and expect more kindness from others.

My husband took his car to the shop for an oil change early Wednesday morning, so I had the home office all to myself when I started my workday. The house seemed weirdly quiet. For the past two years we’ve been sharing the space, and that is likely to continue because my husband is now on a team that doesn’t have anyone in the company’s local office, so he has no reason to do his work there.

I worked from home even before the pandemic, and I thought it was pretty comfortable having the house all to myself during the day. Now it seems as if I was missing out on more than I realized. Although I wouldn’t want to sit in a cube farm all day, it’s nice to have more human connection.

Word-art of a handshake with words like "connect" and "cooperate."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Although today was just an ordinary workday and I didn’t do much beyond going out to get groceries at noon, it felt like the day went well. Maybe yesterday’s post, in which I wrote about my future self and about developing perspective over many years, put me into a calm and reflective mood. Rather than letting mundane worries drain my energy, I felt more inclined to appreciate how I’ve learned and grown.

Word-art with butterflies that says "Give yourself some credit for how far you've come."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

April 13, 2022 · 2 comments · Categories: Musings · Tags:

I shelved a potential post in February about a future me acting as a guardian angel to my present-day self because my first attempt to imagine that scenario didn’t go as planned. Instead of a refreshing visit with my wise and kindly 119-year-old future self Fannie, I caught a glimpse of a smirking Kass in fake wings, obviously getting ready for a snarkfest. Although Kass, also an older and wiser me, generally has had good intentions, I wasn’t in a mood to deal with her satirical version of my future.

After letting the idea percolate for a while, I circled back around to it, this time holding an image of Fannie more clearly in mind. I pictured myself sitting across a glass table from Fannie on the sunny balcony of her townhouse. Birds chirped at a feeder, water burbled in a fountain, and pink climbing roses bloomed all along the balcony rail.

Photo of pink climbing roses and mostly blue sky.

(Creative Commons image via flickr)

The breakfast table was set for two, with coffee cups and small plates. Steam rose from the full cups, along with an enticing mocha caramel aroma, and a box of assorted donuts occupied the center of the table. They looked delicious: glazed twist, chocolate-topped custard…

“Hey, wait a minute, this isn’t right.” Instead of giving in to the temptation to load up my plate, I gave Fannie an accusing glare across the table. “How can you eat a box of donuts if you’re a future me? I gave up the bad habit of donuts for breakfast many years ago—they’re so unhealthy. If you are my guardian angel, then you ought to have the table set with something that’s good for me. What happened to the food I really eat, like fresh fruit and multigrain toast?”

Fannie calmly brushed back an unruly strand of hair, which was purple today, a soft lilac hue that suited the gentle spring breeze. In a mild tone, she answered my question with another.

“What have we always said about assumptions?”

“That it’s best to avoid them.” I picked up my coffee cup and took a sip, enjoying the flavor while I tried to make sense of where this scene was going.

“And leave space for improvement.” Fannie smiled as she reached for a donut. “Yum, cinnamon almond crunch. You know, nutritional science has improved a lot since your primitive times. Donuts nowadays are made with a healthy mix of grains, just like your toast, and baked with good oils. They have natural flavors and no added sugar. Recipes can be adjusted to suit each customer’s individual needs, as determined by genetic testing. Basically, these are prescription donuts, designed to enhance my longevity. Because you are a younger version of me, they’ll be very healthy for you too. Go ahead, take one.”

A small bird hopped down from the feeder and took a few steps across the smooth floor of the balcony, tilting its head to one side and gazing up at me. Hoping for crumbs, I supposed.

I picked up the glazed twist donut and looked at it dubiously. It appeared to be just an ordinary donut, as far as I could tell. But then again, this was a scenario in which my future self was still alive and healthy at a very advanced age. Fountain-of-youth donuts made about as much sense as any other explanation.

Fannie sipped her coffee quietly as I bit into the glazed twist. It tasted like a regular donut and had the soft texture of one.

“Avoid assumptions,” I said, speaking mostly to myself.

The bird, perhaps disappointed that there were no tasty crumbs to be found, took wing. After watching it fly out of sight, Fannie spoke again. “What do you imagine I have been doing as your guardian angel?”

“Rescuing me from danger, I suppose, and from bad or unlucky situations generally. Isn’t that what a guardian angel is supposed to do?”

“Well, sort of. Danger and bad luck often are a matter of perspective, however. From my perspective at more than twice your age, in many ways you are still a baby. I don’t mean that in an insulting way—you are navigating a very confusing, often-changing world as best you can.” Fannie gestured expansively toward the blue sky beyond the roses. “Now, let’s think for a moment about how a baby learns to walk. At first, standing up feels scary and dangerous. The baby wants to be rescued and kept safe. But the parents—and the baby’s guardian angel—know that learning to walk calls for practice and, occasionally, a few well-timed words of encouragement.”

“So, when we’ve had these conversations,” I clarified, “you have been acting as a guardian angel by encouraging me to stand tall, rather than swooping down to save me from my circumstances.”

“That’s part of it, yes. Of course, a baby first has to become aware that the possibility of walking exists. When we tell stories about our past and future selves, we are keeping space open for possibilities that we are only just starting to imagine—or, put another way, holding the future lightly.”

I have a row of willows along my back property line that I still think of as trees, although they’re not much more than bushes now, after a few years of climate change stress. Hot, dry summers killed so many branches that I had to cut the willows back drastically, and some died altogether.

Last year they started looking better, though, and I am hopeful that this will be another good year for new growth. I took some cuttings in March, which I plan to use for replacements. They’re currently sitting in a pot in my kitchen, and I noticed a few leaves sprouting this week, which has me feeling optimistic.

Words of advice in a tree shape such as "Stand tall."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

April 5, 2022 · Write a comment · Categories: Musings · Tags:

Saturday’s rowing regatta went well. My husband and I both had four races because our friendly mixed double rivals from the Great Miami club came to the regatta (we finished just ahead of them by 0.7 seconds in the 1K sprint, for third place) and each of us also rowed a single-sex double with them as our partners. My women’s double advanced to the finals in a large field of competitors, but did not medal. My husband also coxed for Great Miami once.

There wasn’t much time to rest between the 1K mixed double and the 2K because they were scheduled fairly close together. That was all right, though, because we still had a good amount of energy. Unfortunately, we didn’t go straight in our lane because of shifting winds (we need to work on that) and whacked a few buoys with our oars, which slowed us down. We finished three seconds behind the second-place boat and 20 seconds behind the crew that took first place.

Rowing medals from Clemson Sprints 2022.

We would at least have gotten third place regardless, as there were only three entries in the mixed double 2K race. Still, we’re happy with our medals because we were middle-aged lightweights racing against much larger college athletes, and we stayed close to them all the way down the course. It’s not the size of the dog in the fight…

I’ll be traveling this weekend to row with my husband at a regatta in South Carolina. My women’s double partner, Deb, who rows with both our Greater Dayton club and the Great Miami club, will be there too, making a total of three events for me. Along with the women’s double and mixed double 1K Masters sprints, I’ll also be rowing in the mixed double 2K, which my husband and I are doing for the first time.

Although the 2K is mainly for younger rowers, we’re giving it a try anyway, even if we are old enough to be our competitors’ parents. We are both fit enough to row the longer distance—and it’s a new adventure, after all, so why not?

Word-art that says "We travel not to escape life but for life to not escape us."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Although it has been chilly and rainy here, I’ve been feeling cheerful this week listening to the birds chirping as they go about their nest-building and other springtime activities. This word-art image seemed just right for Nurturing Thursday. Enjoy!

Word cloud in a bird shape with words like "compassionate."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to encourage self-nurturing and to “give the planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.”

Last weekend I broke one of the nose pads on my glasses. My husband bought replacements for me when he put in an Amazon order, and they arrived quickly. In the meanwhile, I took the pads off some old glasses for spares, so it wasn’t a problem.

When the new nose pads arrived, I was very surprised at how different they were from the old ones. I last bought glasses in October of 2019, so it wasn’t like they were ancient. But the new pads were thick and soft, with some sort of gel cushioning, whereas the old pads were nothing but hard plastic. I stopped by an optical shop to get my glasses adjusted because the extra thickness pushed them higher, and it took me a little time to get used to the pads not being in the same place on my nose; but I feel much more comfortable now.

Eyeglasses with new nose pads.

Of course, I would’ve bought cushy nose pads long ago if I had known they existed—but I just assumed my glasses had to be equipped with bits of hard plastic digging into my nose because that was what I’d always had. As a general rule, I try not to make limiting assumptions or get stuck in unhelpful habits, but sometimes we just don’t know what we don’t know.

I’m posting this entry on Friday, rather than Thursday, because we had some server issues yesterday evening. Around the time I went to bed, my husband thought that he’d gotten everything resolved, but he was still checking to make sure.

Of course, I could’ve stayed up later to make sure I posted an entry on Thursday and avoided deviating from my usual schedule, but that didn’t seem like it would make much sense. Nurturing Thursday is mainly about being gentle with oneself. Among other things, it’s meant as an antidote to society’s pressure to meet all expectations, whether self-imposed or external. Weekly posting is good because it gives me enough structure for meaningful reflection on a regular basis, but too much rigidity would be counterproductive.

Word-art that says "Being gentle with yourself is a radical act."

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.