Meg Evans

As the winter solstice approaches in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s common to feel that we have less energy to get things done on these short, dark days. Our ancestors in farming villages probably felt the same, but they didn’t worry about it because they already had gathered in the harvest, so their hard work for the year was finished. They simply acknowledged such feelings by lighting candles to brighten their homes during this season, understanding that it would soon pass. Now we have fiber-optic Christmas trees and other modern decorations, but the days of winter are just as short and dark as they’ve always been.
 

Unlike the farmers in those long-ago villages, most of us don’t have a natural break in our work this time of year. We may be able to take vacation time in December, but not everyone can do that—many people work in retail or other industries that are busier than usual. And even if we have vacation time scheduled at the end of the month, we’re still busy at work in early December, as well as making our holiday preparations.

So what’s to be done when we feel that we have less energy than usual and need some quiet, restful days? In addition to cheering ourselves up with holiday decorations and other bright and pretty things, I believe it’s important to keep in mind that we are doing enough. Even if we have ideas for projects that we’d like to do, and even if we have tasks that need to get done in the near future, we shouldn’t be too hard on ourselves if we can’t find the energy to do them right away. Like our ancestors, we may just want to light a candle and say, “This too shall pass.”

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

Getting together with family over the holidays reminds us to feel thankful for our many blessings. It’s a busy time, though, and people often get stressed out by extra chores and disrupted routines. So, in addition to giving to others, we need to keep in mind the importance of taking good care of ourselves. Then we can enjoy taking part in the delicious feast without feeling as if we’ve been cooked like the turkey!
 

Busy crowds and holiday music on store loudspeakers may be okay in small doses, but often they leave us needing to rest and recharge. Meditation, reading, and long walks in nature are ideal for relieving stress and getting into a reflective state of mind. This week I’ve been reading The Way is a River of Stars, in which the author describes walking the pilgrims’ route on the Camino de Santiago. The book is a gentle, peaceful narrative with the cozy feel of a handmade quilt; all the details have been carefully arranged and lovingly stitched together.

Keeping up with regular exercise routines during the holidays is important—not just to maintain weight, but to feel healthier in general. Familiar routines make our lives more predictable and less stressful; and when we don’t let ourselves get too busy for them, we’re sending a powerful message to the subconscious mind that things are under control. Exercise also gets the heart rate up and leaves us feeling invigorated and energetic!

And last but not least: Set aside time each day for personal projects such as crafts and writing, even if it’s only a few minutes. We live in a culture that often dismisses our creative impulses as nothing more than unimportant hobbies, fantasies, and obsessions. But even if we never make any money following our dreams, they are precious anyway because that’s how the authentic self flourishes—by coming out to play!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

This post is longer than the usual Nurturing Thursday entry, but please bear with me because it is meant as a continuation of last week’s half-baked post, and I hope it will make more sense! Before I got distracted by drama on someone else’s blog about a plagiarism incident, I had planned to write about social relationships in the modern world and how fragile they often seem. Sometimes it feels as if there is nobody we can count on to help us get through life—no safe ground.
 

Later I realized why I hadn’t been able to write on this subject while distracted by online drama. It’s all part of the same problem! In the small villages of long ago, people relied on their family and neighbors for survival. But in today’s world, where we just drive to the store and buy whatever we want, it feels like everybody is on their own. It’s good that we have more choices in the modern era—we are free to leave an unpleasant job, an abusive spouse, or a neighborhood we no longer enjoy. But the flip side of having so much freedom is that nobody has to stay with us either, and that feels very scary.

About five years ago, I was involved with an online community that fell apart. Efforts to punish bad behavior (such as by demanding that everyone delete their links to a blog where sexist stuff had been posted) went too far and left the community divided into several warring camps. Nasty gossip and conspiracy theories ran wild. As Elizabeth mentioned last week in my comments, online wrongdoing has to be punished so that the community can feel safe and enjoy blogging. But where do we draw the line to ensure that the punishment doesn’t end up being uglier than the crime?

Our ancestors’ villages had plenty of arguments and gossip too, but there were natural constraints. People knew that they couldn’t get too nasty with each other because they would need help if their barn caught fire or some other calamity happened. But in the modern world, we don’t need our virtual neighbors any more than we need our real-life neighbors. There is always somewhere else we can go; and of course, they don’t need us either. They’re free to tell us to shove off, as rudely as they want, whenever they feel like it.

So, when we put emotional energy into building relationships, it always feels risky. While I don’t expect anyone reading my blog would decide (for example) that I need to be punished for writing a bad Nurturing Thursday post last week, unexpected stuff happens all the time. There is never any certainty because the old rules of social interaction have gone out the window. Some of that is good because we have been clearing away ignorant prejudices, but some of it leaves us feeling vulnerable and anxious. How do we build a culture where people respect, value, and support each other just because it’s the right thing to do?

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I had planned to write on a topic suggested by Elizabeth in last week’s comments—the anxiety that comes from not having many close friends or knowing who will be there for us when we need help, as contrasted with our ancestors’ experiences in small, close-knit villages. But instead, I got into a conversation on another blog about standing up for oneself while also maintaining a kind and positive tone, and where to draw the line so as not to react unkindly out of anger.
 

How do you find the right balance between standing up for yourself online and avoiding unnecessarily negative situations? If someone wronged you online, such as by copying your material without permission, would you publicly demand that they take it down and apologize, in the hope of putting a stop to their bad behavior? Would you decide that the negative energy wasn’t worth it and, after trying to resolve the matter privately, just let it pass? Or would you take legal action? What would you consider the kindest and most self-nurturing way to deal with a situation like that?

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.