As children, we sought out comfy little hidey-holes almost by instinct. A favorite spot might have been a branch halfway up a backyard tree, surrounded by colorful autumn leaves. Or maybe we had a secret cave inside a closet where we went on imaginary adventures with a storybook and flashlight. It was all ours, and it was great fun. Pets like to find and claim cozy little spaces around the house, too!
 

Puppy lying on a wood shelf in the kitchen. 

When we grow up, though, it’s not so easy to find places that feel like our own comfy space. Maybe we’d like to sit and relax with a cup of tea and a good book on a rainy weekend; but there isn’t even enough room for a teacup on the kitchen table because it got so full of clutter, and someone else already took the couch and settled in to watch TV. And of course, sitting in a tree or closet while reading the book is not something a grown-up would even think of doing! So, instead of enjoying a restful afternoon, we end up cleaning off the kitchen table again…

That can go on for many years while we assume it’s just the way adult life goes. But eventually, after neglecting our need for restful places, we start to develop symptoms of Comfy Space Deprivation—stress, tiredness, and general blah feelings. Fortunately, there is a cure. Instead of letting everyone’s junk pile up all over the house until finding a place to sit feels like a game of musical chairs, we can take control and get the house organized the way we want it.

Yes, we still have the power to create comfy spaces, just like when we were children! Although we probably wouldn’t want to hide in a closet like our six-year-old former self or climb up on a shelf like a puppy, even if we were small enough to do it, there are plenty of other options to creatively decorate our own cozy little corner—a bamboo screen, a cheerful painting, our favorite music, and maybe a new chair if the budget permits. All it takes is a bit of time and imagination!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

To read all posts in this series from the beginning, click here.

 

Our houses get cluttered unless we regularly take inventory of the contents and purge things we no longer want or need, which is something I’ve been working on this year. In much the same way, bad habits and unhealthy thought patterns get out of control all too quickly if we neglect to tidy our minds. That is why the personal inventory taken in 12-step programs is not just an isolated event but is instead an ongoing process of continuous improvement.

Step Ten says: “Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.” Promptly acknowledging the need to correct a problem is always important because the longer things go without being corrected, the worse they get. That is true in many areas of life—when we get in the habit of fixing small things promptly, we find that routine maintenance is a lot easier than leaving stuff to pile up and turn into big, overwhelming problems.

Addictions, including chronic negativity, often are made worse by the stress that comes from letting unexamined stuff pile up like that. Even though we may not want to face up to whatever we’re doing wrong, we probably have at least some subconscious awareness that things aren’t going as they should. That not-quite-right feeling triggers anxiety, which in turn leaves us tempted to indulge in self-comforting addictive behaviors. Then we feel guilty, which causes more anxiety, and down we spiral.

In our complicated society, where it’s very easy to overlook things because we always have so much demanding our attention, it’s an unavoidable fact that we are going to be wrong sometimes, no matter what we do. And as a result, we need to admit when we’re wrong. That simple necessity shouldn’t leave us feeling ashamed or intimidated. Sometimes it does anyway, because we all have bad memories of having been bullied—or at least criticized harshly—when we were wrong. Admitting a mistake can feel like it leaves us more vulnerable to abuse from judgmental people.

But in my experience, calmly owning up to a mistake and taking action to correct it usually has been uneventful—not nearly as scary as procrastinating about it while imaginary negative scenarios multiply in my thoughts! When we become confident enough to own our actions, including the mistakes, we project authenticity and strength to others, and they are more likely to respond positively to us.

Taking personal inventory regularly, followed by prompt action, can be looked upon as just another one of life’s many necessary tasks, like washing the dishes or mowing the lawn. The dishes will need washing again, the lawn will need mowing again, and we surely will make mistakes that need correcting again. That’s just the way things go.

 

Click here to read Recovering from Negativity, Step Eleven.

Many years ago, when my kids were little, I bought a piece of fabric with a design of roads and brightly colored buildings, so that they could roll their toy cars around on it. They spread it out over the driveway and often expanded the map by drawing more roads and scenery with sidewalk chalk.
 

Toy cars arranged on fabric with pictures of roads and buildings. 

As they grew older and lost interest in playing with toys, this all ended up at the bottom of a plastic basket in my garage, along with other clutter such as lids from empty sidewalk chalk buckets and worn-out soccer balls. Then other stuff got put on top of it, and we didn’t notice how much old junk had built up in the basket. The memories are good ones, but there’s certainly no need to keep the actual stuff forever!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last weekend, my husband and I noticed that a board on top of our deck railing had gotten warped on one end and the screws had come loose. I thought at first that we might need a new board, but he said that we could just turn the warped board over and it would be fine. We had to scrape off some old wasps’ nests and other icky stuff that we found under the board; but after we cleaned it up and screwed the board back into place, it didn’t look nearly as bad anymore.
 

Wooden deck railing, slightly warped. 

Sometimes life is kind of like that, too. Bad habits and negativity can leave us feeling like our lives have gotten a bit warped, or even make us wonder if we have a screw or two loose; but often all we need to do is to turn over something that we haven’t looked at in a while, scrape off the accumulated crud, and then go forward with the benefit of a different perspective.

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

Even though I’ve never devoted a lot of time and energy to holiday decorating, I somehow ended up with random Christmas items scattered around my house anyway. They took up residence at the back of cabinets, on the top shelf of the pantry, and other places where I hadn’t looked in a while. How that happened, I really don’t know… maybe I can blame it on mischievous elves?
 

Holiday tins and other random Christmas stuff. 

My usual Christmas decorations, when out of season, are kept neatly boxed up in the basement closet under the stairs. They’re not a problem. But the random stuff hadn’t been used in ages and was just taking up space in my house, pointlessly, and gathering dust. No sense in keeping that!

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Today is a lovely sunny day, but over the past week there have been a few cloudy days as the weather turns cooler. Like many people, I find that the shorter days tend to affect my mood, leaving me with a dark and oppressive feeling. Although the leaves haven’t fallen yet, the sky looked like autumn with its heavy, lingering cloud cover when I took this photo—not a bit of blue anywhere to be seen.
 

Cloudy sky and trees. 

After considering it, though, I realized that how I feel about the change of seasons is not outside of my control. The language I use to describe the weather is entirely my choice, and so I’ve resolved not to use words like “dreary” to describe dark cloudy days. When it comes to my mood, that is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and not one that I want to inflict on myself! From now on, if it is rainy or foggy or whatever, I’ll just use that simple descriptive term without adding a negative gloss to it. And if I notice something I like in a fall or winter day, then I’ll say that too!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

I recently read an article about a “Burger Bot” that is being developed to automate fast-food restaurants. The author lamented that because so much work can be done with machines, it won’t be long before there are no jobs left for real human beings.

Of course, that line of thought has been worrying people ever since the Industrial Age got underway. Advances in technology have been displacing large numbers of workers for centuries. Our society no longer needs blacksmiths, carriage makers, or many other occupations that once were commonplace. Most of us don’t live on farms in small towns anymore. So, we have to find a niche in today’s complicated economy, and that’s not easy.

Although increased production has made more resources available for new industries to develop, it has been a continuing struggle for this expansion to happen quickly enough to create all the jobs we need. Because of population growth, even in years when many new jobs were created, we’ve always had more workers competing to fill them. Modern transportation and communication technologies have made it possible for companies to move jobs anywhere, bringing even the most remote areas into the global economy. Civil rights laws also have increased the number of people in the workforce—in particular, women.

That’s a lot of transitions to deal with at once. No wonder there is so much anxiety among today’s workers. Although lower birthrates will eventually reduce the number of people seeking jobs as the global economy continues to expand, we’re not there yet.

I remember taking part in a conversation on a forum about ten years ago, started by a woman who enjoyed having a lot of projects to work on. She wrote that when she reached the end of a project and hadn’t yet moved on to another one, it always left her feeling anxious. “The Betweens” was what she called that feeling—a sense of displacement and uncertainty, wanting to do something more but not knowing what came next.

Right now, I would describe our society as mired in the Betweens. Many of the old ways of doing things have outlived their usefulness, but it’s not yet clear what will replace them. All that uncertainty leaves us with vague feelings of impending calamity, as if we need to fix everything right away and it’s going to turn into a huge disaster if we can’t get it all sorted now.

But the upside of the Betweens is that they give us an opportunity for valuable reflection, if we can get past the anxiety and look calmly at what’s going on around us. The Betweens are always happening on a smaller scale in our everyday lives, when we finish a task or errand and haven’t yet moved on to the next one. Often we get in the habit of rushing from one thing to another, without taking time to reflect. Even though we may not consciously notice the anxiety, it’s there anyway as we hurry through our days juggling a schedule packed with chores and obligations, getting distracted and annoyed whenever something slows us down.

This year I’ve been making an effort to change my perspective—to reframe those small daily moments of waiting in long grocery checkout lines, etc., as natural pauses in life’s busy flow and to practice mindfulness when they occur. I want to appreciate the Betweens, to cherish them—to feel grateful for the little unplanned gifts of grace with which they bless my life. Having time to slow down, get my thoughts in order, and be present in the moment really is a blessing, even in the checkout line!

And I am hopeful that our society will develop more creative appreciation for the Betweens, too. Changes and transitions aren’t necessarily bad; we just need time, perspective, and mental energy to deal with them. We have so much power to shape both our personal lives and the world around us into better and healthier patterns, but first we need to take enough time to consider where we want to be!

As workforce growth slows in the coming decades and the global population begins to drop, we’ll likely find ourselves in a much-changed world where companies struggle to cope with persistent labor shortages. Industries that rely on having large numbers of unskilled low-wage workers, such as fast food, will crash unless automation can fill the gap. I believe it’ll turn out to be very good for future workers, having Burger Bots make their lunches while they pursue better-paid and more interesting careers.

I’ll also note that although the Millennial generation often gets criticized for having a sense of entitlement, they generally understand that they are in control of their own lifestyles and career choices. We could all use more of that.

Autumn is, among other things, the season when holiday food gift catalogs show up in the mail. The cookies and cakes are so creatively decorated, looking at them can be as much fun as eating them! My sister bought Christmas cookies for my family one year, which were shipped in a holiday tin decorated like a delivery truck.
 

Cookie tin decorated like a delivery truck. 

The cookies were yummy, and the tin was just too cute to throw away—well, you know how that goes. For more than a decade, the empty cookie tin sat on the top shelf of a kitchen cabinet. It never got in the way because the shelf is too high to reach without standing on a stepstool, and there wasn’t anything else we wanted to put there; so, at the time, it just seemed like a cheerful decoration.

But in the past few years, my husband and I have been eating better, cutting out the unhealthy sugary stuff. So it’s probably not the best idea to keep an old holiday tin in the kitchen that makes us think about cookies! Someone else might like it, though; so maybe what I’ll do is fill it with something tasty and take it to a picnic or bonfire or other potluck event, along with a sign, “Tin free to good home.”

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!

Last year I bought a Hamsa charm, handmade by an artist in Israel, to decorate an interior wall and bring peaceful feelings to my house. The wall, which never gets direct sunlight, looked like it could use some brightening up! I also hung a small suncatcher in a window, consisting of an angel and a crystal teardrop (shown in this post on a gray winter day). The suncatcher makes tiny rainbows, mostly on the floor. This morning I noticed that there was a rainbow directly on the Hamsa, and took a photo to share.
 

Hamsa wall hanging with rainbow light. 

Although it may not seem like much, I’ve found that having little bright cheerful things around the house can go a long way toward keeping me in a good mood generally!

Nurturing Thursday was started by Becca Givens and seeks to “give this planet a much needed shot of fun, support and positive energy.” Visit her site to find more Nurturing Thursday posts and a list of frequent contributors.

We all know how this story goes—exercise equipment is bought with the best of intentions, only to end up in the back of a closet gathering dust. Then we tell ourselves a fairy tale about how it’s still worth keeping because we’re going to use it again someday.
 

Two 8-pound weights. 

Maybe the last time I used these weights was in 2006; I honestly can’t remember, it was so many years ago. And I have no need to keep them because I took up rowing last year, which does a good job of keeping my arms toned. I like getting out on the river and seeing the wildlife—there are herons, ducks, and beavers all along the course.

So I’m getting rid of the weights. And I would say there’s a more general lesson here: Why keep old exercise stuff that just gets in the way and gives us bad feelings about not having used it, when the world is so full of other fitness activities we might enjoy a lot more?

About Clutter Comedy: Every Sunday (which I envision as a day of rest after a productive week of de-cluttering) I post a Clutter Comedy article describing my most memorable clutter discovery of the week. Other bloggers who wish to join in are welcome—just post a link in the comments! There’s no need to publish any “before” photos of your clutter, if they are too embarrassing. The idea is simply to get motivated to clean it up, while having a bit of fun too!